How To Feel Comfortable Putting Yourself First

How many times did you hear "Don't be selfish" when you were growing up? We get it drummed into us that it's a bad thing to put ourselves first but if we don't we risk burnout. I have a great tip that will help you feel comfortable putting yourself first so that you can do more of what you love and live a life that is completely fulfilling.

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Hey I'm Lydia Kimmerling, I'm a finalist for Psychologies and Hay House's new voice for 2016. I will be blogging here for the month of Feb and the winner is the person who has the most votes on their blogs. Will you vote for me? Support this blog by clicking "VOTE UP" above.


When I say "put yourself first" what comes up for you? Do you shout "Hell yeah!" or are you filled with worry that if you do, it will make you a bad person?

What if I said that selfishness has a good and bad side? What do you think the good side would be?

More energy?

More time?

More money?

More happiness?

If I said you could have more of any of those would you say no?

I wouldn't, which is why I wanted to share how you can put yourself first and feel really comfortable doing so.

Enjoy and don't forget to click "VOTE UP" to support this blog.


Psychologies and Hay House ran a competition in January 2016 to find the wisest new voice for 2016. We have now shortlisted our favourite five entrants. We were looking for a fresh and distinctive voice with a relevant message for our current times. If you enjoyed Lydia's entry then please vote.

Ignite is a day-long event dedicated to your wellbeing in London this March and you can get £10 off the ticket price here.

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Lydia Kimmerling

Life Coach, Spiritual Teacher, Speaker, The Happiness Explorer

Hey, I'm Lydia Kimmerling I am MAD, CRAZY, PASSIONATE about helping you to create a life you're super excited to wake up to. Being happy...ish, inspired...ish and fulfilled...ish is never quite enough, is it? When you feel like there is "more" out there for you, it's because there is. A life where you can't remember the last time you worried, stressed or doubted yourself and your friends ask you "What's your secret?" because you GLOW, SPARKLE and SHINE. That can be you and I will show you how. I got my first television job at 17, ran my own restaurant in Panama at 22, taught Hip Hop in Cornwall at 26, was cabin crew for Virgin Atlantic at 28, coached CEO's on confidence at 29, then at 30 took the leap as a certified life & business coach with The International Coaching Federation to launch my very own transformational company called The Happiness Explorer. I am a master of change, so I can tell you that there is NEVER really anything to fear, but has it always been easy? NO! I have blocks, down days and self-doubt too, life doesn't stop throwing you curve balls, it's how you catch the ball and throw it back that changes. Plus, you never know until you try, right? At 32, I now know what the key is to waking up every single day excited about the life you live. It is to know yourself inside and out and to love every part of who you are.The more you know yourself, the more of you there is to love and the more you love yourself, the more you want to give yourself a life you love. The question is…What do you really want?


Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
over 5 years ago
That's an interesting idea. I need to think more about this, definitely food for thought. I like it. The other day I felt selfish because I went for a long walk up the hills on my own, without my gorgeous dog Bobby but I knew I needed time on my own to reflect on some things. After listening to your ideas on 'selfishness' I don't feel so bad about that walk now and anyway he gets his kisses, hugs and cuddles off me. God knows I love that dog. Cat Stevens was right when he wrote that song; I love my dog! Superb!
Go to the profile of Lydia Kimmerling
over 5 years ago
I really hear how much you love your dog Bobby, you're lucky to have each other. What breed is he? I am desperate to get my doggy but I travel too much right now. I bet that having that walk alone enabled you to come home and be even more present with him. Our pets, friends, partners get so much more from us when we are truly present. You can feel it right? When you go for coffee with someone and they are on their phone, it's pointless. Have a great weekend Mark
Go to the profile of Peets Olivia
over 5 years ago
I totally agree, I'm being selfish right now having a friday night in on my own ignoring some friends pleas for social company as I need some down time. Eating pistachios in bed watching your videos makes a much happier me :-) Thank you for making my selfish night in okay :-)
Go to the profile of Louise Haworth
over 5 years ago
It's okay to say no :) I used to be such a 'people pleaser' and say yes to things even if deep down I didn't have the energy, now I am selfish with my time I find I can give quality time to things / people and I am not just ticking the box or killing birds with stones etc. Thank you for the reminder x
Go to the profile of Lydia Kimmerling
over 5 years ago
Good for you Peets... love a Friday night in. My highlight this weekend was doing an avocado face mask but I soooo wanted to do it, it felt gloriously selfish in all the right ways xx
Go to the profile of Lydia Kimmerling
over 5 years ago
Hey Louise, you're so right. It's so liberating when people pleasing is a thing of the past x