4 ways to help you connect with others

The small things we say and do really can make all the difference when seeking to make positive connections with others.

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Being noticed lifts your spirits and brighten your day. A smile exchanged with someone as you pass each other by in the street. Maybe allowing someone to step ahead of you at the queue. These are small but significant shared moments that ground you in the here and now. That connects you and build a sense of community. 

Sometimes the opportunity passes by. Often this is because of shyness or embarrassment. Perhaps you worry about how you will come across. Usually, this is accompanied by an internal dialogue that says, 'don't bother; it's better not to risk rejection.'

Before you know it, the chance is lost to make a new connection. It is only human to want to say and do the right thing. Nobody wants to look foolish, so sometimes you do nothing or, worst, make a smart comment at another's expense.

There is another way – here are 4 simple tips to try:

Be curious and non-judgmental about others. Focus on the other person and demonstrate a genuine interest in them. This will allow you to be more open and accepting of others. It will also help create a relaxed frame of mind so you can enjoy the experience.

Build rapport by focusing on the other person. Witty words and dramatic gestures do not outweigh being attentive to the interests of others. The best conversationalists are those who listen thoroughly and not jump in with a better story.

Banish multi-tasking to improve personal connections. Don't sabotage your efforts to develop relationships by multi-tasking in the other person's presence. Put down your book or smartphone and look away from the screen when you someone is talking to you. Show respect by giving them your undivided attention. There's no better way to express that you value them.

Sincere appreciation is always welcome. It is a gift to feel connected and share an experience of mutual discovery. Try for yourself. Acknowledge and smile, take the time to listen and be fascinated by the issues and interests of another.

 The small things we say and do really can make all the difference when seeking to make positive connections with others.

Beverly Landais PCC

Certified Personal & Team Coach: enabling people to be at their resourceful best , www.beverlylandais.co.uk

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