Week 15- Time for reflection
Another week of reflection....and putting on my Positive Pants
Another week of reflection is fine by me. I have to admit that sometimes I do enjoy retreating inside myself for a few days and allowing things to wash over me. Instead of reacting immediately to everything just sit back and allow things to happen.
I’m still practicing my early morning walk, I’m still remembering to see the beauty in the ordinary, I’m still occasionally visiting stuffication ( local charity shops are benefitting)
Even on rank ‘end to end’ meetings days I am learning to extract pleasure from any opportunity like a bee looking for pollen. I’m learning to appreciate everything just a little bit more, but most of all I am appreciating the people in my life and how special they are. I’m letting go of people from the past who make me sad or angry or both and I think 'wake up' is letting me chose HOW to think about things. Instead of seeing every set back as a negative I am trying to see if I can make something good come out of it.
My son passed his driving test first time this week. I’m so proud of him, he’s worked hard to pay for his lessons, his test and his new car and the almost impossible insurance costs. His ‘can do’ attitude is a credit to him and I appreciate what a fantastic person he has grown into. Although I know I will worry about him even more I also know I have to let him go.
My fiancé is back working away all week, so I only see him on Saturday night and Sunday. Instead of griping about how little I see him I try to make the time we have together special. I appreciate how hard he works.
My Mam. Did I mention she is amazing? I went to see her this week to colour and curl her hair. At 89, her hair is still down to her waist but she always wears it up in her trademark 60’s bun. Usually I’d be rushing to complete the task and thinking about the hundred and one other things I have to do but this time I took my time, enjoying the process of washing, rinsing, and styling her hair (giving her some sneaky reiki) and appreciated this precious time we have together.
A friend who I have known through births, deaths, marriages and breakups for over twenty five years, our lives often running in parallel lines has got engaged this week and I LOVED sharing in her joy and seeing the sparkle in her eyes. She is such a good friend.
My oldest friend who I have known since school is one of the strongest most inspirational and resilient people I know. We have supported each other through thick and thin we’ve laughed and cried together. She is wonderful and crazy in equal measures. I know I could turn up at her door in tears and she would welcome me in, make me a paned* and swivel the conversation from whatever upset I was feeling to what do I think of these ‘marvellous’ boots in this magazine. Soon my tears would dry up and she would have me smiling. She always makes me feel better for seeing her. She is coming with me to Berlin in May for a long weekend. I so appreciate her making time for this when she has so many crazy responsibilities at home. She has three lovely boys, a husband, an adopted grandchild, a sick father and full time job as a teacher. She amazes me with her ability to keep on giving to everyone and the way she can still absurdly care about the latest new dungarees from Zara, the latest giraffe cushion or the greatest cosmetic product she has ever discovered, when a lesser person facing her challenges would be rocking in the corner. I think she is amazing.
Last but not least I’ve made a new unexpected friend since joining Wake up. Sometimes life throws you a pleasant curveball. Since moving to the village I hadn’t really made any new friends as I am not very good at reaching out to people, I tend to keep myself to myself. This person I have known for a few years but in my mind was never someone who would become my friend. However a few months ago through a mutual friends’ misunderstanding I ended up giving her some reflexology because she was going through a heartbreaking time and I didn’t like to think of anyone in that amount of pain if there was something I could do to help. In return as a dog lover she offered to trim Ted’s nails.Then I hurt my foot and she started taking Ted out for walks because I was immobile. Her kindness, caring, friendly, funny personality took me by surprise. We now regularly attend the local pub quiz- through which I have met more people, we walk our dogs together and have drinks together. Wake up has helped me to practice being less judgemental, more open to happiness and has opened my eyes to new possibilities.
It’s the small things in life that matters in the end. It’s not the things we owned, but the moments we have owned with our people. My favourite laugh out loud moment of this week was last night when I flopped down on the sofa after a particularly busy 12 hour work day with soup for tea and Ted rolls over for a belly rub but was really going in for a sneaky slurp of soup. Cai and I looked at each other and collapsed into uncontrollable giggles. These are the moments that make our days worthwhile.
* Welsh slang word for cup of tea