Week 42: What I love about me.
That's me in the spotlight...
Interesting one this. Chris set us the challenge to create two lists: what I love about me and what I don’t love so much about me.
I felt a bit uneasy about this because I thought it may turn into some intense self- analysis that to be frank, I don’t really have the energy for. Yet it actually turned into a moment of recognition, a sense of ‘you are great, not perfect but hey-ho- absolutely good enough.’
I have completed this task at the end of a long day at work. I am physically and emotional weary, but not exhausted. There have been no major incidents or concerns to preoccupy me and perhaps this is a productive mood for this kind of experiment. I sat down with my journal, drew a line down the page and collected my thoughts. No drama or angst or filter as I wasn’t reacting to any emotion other than completing this task.
The lists were revealing in as much that I completed them, then sat back, smiled (as suggested by Chris!) and then felt the inspiration to write some more. Both sides pretty equal in length, there I am. I used to be competitive and always needed to be seen as good, reliable and knowledgeable but now I enjoy the fact that I don’t need to be. I will try to reach high standards at work and be a good friend, but at the end of the day I have learnt that I can only do my best in the situation, frame of mind and energy levels that I have. There have been times when I have self-criticised for hours and hours only to realise that a couple of days after the incident I and the world have moved on! I have learnt the power of ‘sorry’ and am learning to apply it to myself.
I think this is a releasing experiment- it releases you from the utter fallacy that perfection is attainable or even aspirational. The fact that my lists are even in length makes a well-balanced person doesn’t it? Anything I would change though? Yes: I would like to be a bit more flamboyant! I have a deep appreciation of all that is artistic and perhaps I need to let that flow into my personality a bit more... so I may set aside a bit of time to reintroduce a bit of colour into my life, even if it is just a new red nail varnish!