Grief

saying goodbye and letting go

Thumb fullsizeoutput 640
Apr 04, 2019
2
0

I've been quiet. I've been pondering, I've been wondering.

Last week a friend died. 

Not a close friend...

Someone who I'd never even had a meal with, but equally a friend.

He died in his sleep. At age 51 he went to bed and he never woke up.

We'd worked in the same industry for years, he'd suffered lots of pain, he was very intelligent and spoke his mind and he supported me when others didn't. 

His death hit me hard. It was so sudden, so unexpected. 

He'd started a new role and was enjoying not being in such a stressful environment. The irony...

How many times do I hear of people dying just as they've quit their job, retired, or made a life leap and it reminded me of why making our life leap whilst we still have the time is so important.

We never know when will be our time.

I think of how he will never see another sunrise or another sunset, or he'll never see the moon again.

I went for a walk in nature the day he died and found some fairy finds to drop into my local brook (see header image) to say my goodbye. As I watched them sail off down to the weir, I felt calm. He is at peace, but it made me realise how important it is to live the life we love. 

When we look at our own lives what do we hang onto out of habit, fear of new beginnings, fear of betray, fear of something new, fear of not knowing. 

What do we hold onto out of wondering what other people will think?

What will we regret?

What addictions do you have that are holding you back and how can you let go of them?

And this is why I've been quiet. 

I need to let go.

I'm letting go of lots of stuff in the last 18-months but I've had major shifts in the last few months and I know I am about to do some major ones.

I'm letting go of most of my clothes, the clothes I purchased as part of my shopping addiction that helped define me as different to everyone else. Now too big as my weight drops due to focusing on self-care. Clothes I thought were me, but now I realise I was using their bagginess to hide myself, to become quirky and different, yet being invisible. Another mask I'd hidden behind, thinking it was my authentic self, but it wasn't.

I'm now going to be visible. I'm letting go of the clothes and other stuff and letting go of my past.

I'm taking another step to embracing my inner wise woman and with it letting go of the self-doubt I've had all my life around my appearance, how I should look, what I should wear, who I should be.

I am me.

As I stood watching the fairy finds float down stream, I wondered what I would regret.

I realised I have areas I'd regret and these thoughts have made me have another rethink of my life.

So as of now I will be;

Kissing more - I've never kissed enough, I wish I'd kissed more when I was younger, but I'll kiss more now. I read an article somewhere that said holding a kiss for 10 seconds makes it more passionate. It does. I have a logical husband and now we kiss for a minimum of 10 seconds, kissing is really good, the best its been in my whole life. {who Knew}

I'm going to dress sexy for me and for no one else. Yes, my sexy is a pair of Dr Marten boots and a funky dress with coloured hair. No longer will I hide who I am, my figure my sunshine. I will shine bright and I will love it.

I will flirt - with my husband and when flirting is safe and harmless with cute people I meet. 

I will invite more romance and passion in my life. I will create it for myself.

I will get those tattoo's, why do I keep waiting?

I will let go of stuff, of people who don't mean that much to me, of emotions, of anger, sadness, fear, hurt and most of all guilt.

I will make new friends, I will ask those people I'm curious about if they'd like to meet for a cuppa. 

I will dance and I will sing.

I will go and enjoy life.

And everyday I will let go of something to allow room for all the good things in life.

I will get soaked in the rain.

I will dance in the snow.

I will paddle in brooks and stream.

I will watch the stars.

And I will let go and embrace the wishes of the universe.

I love the beautiful imperfection of life and with it the power to continually let go, to learn, to look for the magic and the wonder and just be curious.

What will you let go of to live the life of your dreams?

Bright Blessings and witchy kisses

Haulwen

The Magical Mojo Coach




Medium fullsizeoutput 640

Haulwen Nicholas

Personal Development & Self Discovery Coach, The Magical Mojo Coach (Haulwen Ltd)

I reconnect people with wonder, magic and learning so that together we can heal the world. That way we can begin a journey of reconnection with the inner wise woman, only then can you create the life of your dreams. I am a fully qualified NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Coach, Myers Briggs, Hypnotherapy and Time Line Therapy TM practitioner. I run the Mojo Academy an online community and platform for group coaching for individuals who want to take control of their own journal of re-discovery, self-care and self-development for an affordable monthly membership free. I also run a free commmunity The Mojo Coaching Club to give monthly free hints and tips for women wanting to change their lives. I offer one to one coaching via video call or face to face.

No comments yet.