Having the Courage to Connect with yourself, others and life isn't always easy, particularly when the going gets tough and all you want to do is avoid, shut down and numb out, but it's imperative to your health and well being to do so
When we truly connect, we transform our experience of life: we feel more alive, vital, impassioned and, without necessarily trying, we have a positive impact on others and in consequence our environment changes for the better.
As one of my teachers used to say, “Yes, but how?” You may be asking the same question. Well, that’s where courage comes in. Life is constantly giving us opportunities to connect or disconnect, but it’s not always easy or comfortable to stay connected. A lot of the time it’s far easier to numb out: drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, eating, being busy with 16 projects on the go at any one time…the list of tactics for distracting and numbing out goes on. And yes, I’ve done my share.
But here’s the issue: if you disconnect from pain, because you’re too afraid to feel it, or you disconnect from others because you resent them, or you disconnect from life because you’re just plain fed up with the struggle of living it, then you disconnect from all the good stuff too! The joy, the vitality, the passion, the creativity, the amazing experience of living your life fully. And that’s a tragedy.
Next time, try this. To authentically connect with yourself, allow yourself to feel all your feelings, fully. That means a big sob, not just choking back your tears. Or a rant in the privacy of your own home, screaming into a pillow if you have to let it out.
To authentically connect with others, try being vulnerable with someone safe, instead of self-protecting - use your breath and mentally tell yourself it's safe to open up, even if just a little more than you usually would.
To authentically connect with life? Well, that's more difficult, as sometimes, life's just too hard! However, if you can say Yes to what life is offering, instead of a big fat No, by just accepting it, in this moment, as it is, you will feel differently. Lighter perhaps, just give up fighting how it is, even just for a moment and you may feel a little more serene.