Walk into the 'Self Help' isle of your local bookshop, library or Kindle search and you'll find an endless stash of 'confidence bibles' for the taking. 'How to master the art', 'the science behind it', 'how to overcome your deepest fears'... the list goes on.
As a society, we're obsessed with it.
We favour the confident candidate in a job interview, we date the over- confident man instead of the 'nice guy', we trust the doctor who's quick to tell us what's wrong as opposed to the one who'd like to try a few more tests first.
Why is confidence perceived as such a strength? And why is it such a uphill struggle for so many?
I can't speak for those with a Y chromosome, but for us ladies a lot has to do with the messages we've been fed about body image, ageing and our 'place' in society. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you're constantly being told to improve, however subliminal that might be. The rise of social media has too brought with it an unhealthy comparison and the obsession with the insta-life'. We're all trying so hard to be perfect that we've ended up miserable and exhausted.
I look at confidence in a different way now. Rather than worrying about all the things I'm not, I focus on all the things I am. I've found that when you shift your mindset to that of gratitude you realise just how much you have to be thankful for. I've stopped looking at other woman as competition, as somehow superior and instead try to compliment the amazing one's in my life daily. Confidence isn't about acting a certain way, it's about acting your way and being ok with it, warts and all. Acceptance is the key to confidence.
What is it time for you to accept today?
For those of you who might be looking for a helping hand in the confidence department, check out Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU BECOME IT!