As my teacher guided me through a glorious Divine Feminine meditation this week, she posed a question for me. She asked;
"What do you need to remember?"
We have been working with the premise of the Divine Feminine that we are being called to remember who we are, our connection to Gaia, Mother Earth, Father Sky, and for us women our grounded Queenliness. Still, with regard to this question no answer came, suggesting what I needed to remember, other than the word "wait". I gently noted this guidance and sunk deeper into the arms of the meditation. It is the quiet voices that whisper guidance to us that can be the most profound, and this occasion was no exception for me. Over the years of my practice the soft whisper of love has seen me right every time, and often, at first it does not appear to be a straight answer to what I need to know.
My inner guidance system was encouraging me to wait for the truth, to allow it to be revealed to me, for what I needed to remember to show itself.
A couple of days later I returned back to my flat having been out with a couple of friends to have a drink. I left early, although I had been enjoying the company, despite football being on in the noisy pub! I harnessed my attention to tune into anything I needed to hear from my inner guide. There was nothing concrete, other than some sort of steady tug to move away from this situation and to return home. To return home, this subtle compulsion what what I was being called to do. To return,to remember.
I got home and within moments of being indoors I picked up my copy of the metaphysical text "A Course In Miracles". I completed the workbook's lesson and then turned to the page of the text where I had left off. I read;
"You are afraid to know God's will because you believe it is not yours. This belief is your whole sickness, and fear arises here because this is the belief that makes you not want to know. Believing this you hide in the darkness, denying the light is within you."
Something stirred in me, it was a gentle murmur around my heart and a heat rising that began to flush my face. Yes, I was recalling something, something like a memory. When I began to read The Course, I struggled with the masculine and religious terminology but the more I have read the more it feels like home. This thing we call God, it's everywhere; it is the Universe. God is not some bearded man sitting on a cloud judging us so we live in fear, this is the image hat many of us have grown up with regarding God. God is the Universe, that loving ever-benevolent life force which cushions and guides us all, whether are tuned in to hear its call or not.
This was my remembrance; that I am not alone. I am not separate. The loving will of the universe lives inside me and is everywhere. It is not just inside me, but it is me. I am it. It is me. We are one and connected and any illusion of separation causes the sickness of ego and fear to take over. I remember I am here in this life, on this planet, in this physical body to step up and say I am ready to be healed. I have no clue how, but I remember that all I need is the willingness to turn my trust over to the Universe. I waited for the call to be healed and listened when it came. I remember who I am.