School experiences had left Vanessa with little sense of her own self-worth – which was reflected in the relationships and sexual assaults she encountered. She then became a dutiful wife and mother, but was seriously put to the test by her husband’s drug and alcohol addiction and aggressive behaviour – to the point that she even contemplated killing him to set herself free. She has since learned how to not only stand up for herself with gratitude, but to encourage other women to gain hope and take charge of their lives… to move beyond the roles and expectations and to become ‘sensibly selfish’.