For many years I had a niggling feeling that I needed to be somewhere else – I just couldn't work out where that elusive place was. I felt frustrated and a bit dizzy trying to figure it out. I knew that if only I could find out where I 'belonged' I'd feel happier, more complete, at peace and I'd be enjoying a vibrant circle of loving friends, and I'd never feel emotionally isolated again. I've moved around a bit over the years, but never found the place I'd been searching for – and yet I still yearned for it. That Utopian place that would be the 'cherry on top' of the cake of my life.
You know all those books, courses, webinars, seminars, workshops and retreats that offer to help you with your confidence, self-doubt, not feeling good enough, poor body image, lack of self-love and self-compassion, self-sabotaging behaviours, negative mindset, and problems with your behaviour in any of your relationships, and as a parent? Well, they're each looking at only the consequences of the same deeper and unresolved underlying cause.
It's Christmas day very soon and the focus is upon having a happy family time. But what if it can never be like that for you? Don't get me wrong – I don't want to burst anyone's happy bauble, but there is another side that we don't hear so much about which is equally valid for many thousands of people.
Do you ever find yourself feeling guilty even though you've not actually done anything wrong? If so, it'll be more to do with your deep-seated subconscious beliefs than actual events.