What really matters to you?

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Sometimes we feel lost.  Sometimes life becomes a drudge and we find ourselves wondering how we ended up here.

At times like these, it is useful to spend some time reflecting on what really matters, what it is that we value. Values can act as an internal compass, letting us know whether we are heading broadly in a direction that takes us towards fulfillment and happiness, or whether we are veering off in another direction.

The first answer to the question 'what matters?' sometimes incorporates a lot of what we think ought to matter, rather than what actually does.  It is easy to live life fulfilling the role we perceive others expect of us, meeting their expectations, and every day dying just a little more inside. 

When you consider your values, if you find yourself trotting out words that don't energise you, you may be lacking alignment -  a bit like the company values statement on the wall that are fine words but not necessarily lived experience for the workers!

To find out what you are currently valuing, look at where you spend your time.  Look where your money goes.  Look at what has your attention and focus.  These things are your lived values.  One way of energising a life that feels lack-lustre is to pay fine attention in the moment and to notice the joy that can be found in the small things, the little meanings that originally brought these tasks to your attention, that have been lost somewhere along the way.

If life still feels out of kilter even when you are awake in the moment, it may be because there is a gap between what you value deep inside, and what your actions give value to.  Lining up the external with the internal can be liberating.  Why not spend some time considering what really, really matters to you.  What would you die in a ditch for?  To give this life, what else can you let go or minimise? A life lived congruently is a life well lived.  Is it time for you to reflect on your inner compass?

Go to the profile of Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

I am here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to clients based in Durham. I am UKCP Accredited, BACP Registered, and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists locally. I have worked in private practice, the NHS, and in charitable organisations, with a wide range of clients and conditions.

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