Reflecting on what really matters

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As the dust begins to settle on confinement to our homes, it seems we are each beginning to encounter ourselves in different ways. Each individual situation is different; for some people a lot of space has now opened up that somehow seems to need filling, while for others there is now no space at all as life is suddenly continually full with entertainment for and care of young children. Relationships are changed, no physical connection, changed patterns of digital connection, learning about the nature of the different relationships we have and how they are morphing under new circumstances, some closer, some less close than expected..

One strong pattern I am noticing talking to clients and loved ones alike, is that many people are discovering resourcefulness within themselves that they didn’t know they had. For them, the sudden out-framing of concerns and difficulties that just three weeks ago seemed overwhelming and insurmountable has been marked. In the face of unprecedented change and danger, a different perspective is put on previous hurts and worries.

I am also noticing that people are asking themselves searching questions. So many unspoken assumptions have been chucked out of the window, so many unchallenged norms are now not normal. In view of this, I wanted to offer some questions that may help active reflection about the nature of your experience, considering how you might build on it and take it forwards.

  1. What have you lost as a result of the changes in your routines and patterns? Of this,
  2. What do you want to let go of permanently?
  3. What will you do less of going forwards?
  4. What have you gained as a result of the current situation?
  5. What do you want to find space for going forwards?
  6. What do you want to do more of than you used to?
  7. What was core to you before, that remains core to you now? What does this tell you about your values?
  8. How are your priorities changing? What now seems to really matter?
  9. How can you align your time, attention and resources towards these important things when we begin to emerge from the current constraints?

After all, after so much loss and suffering, it would be good to squeeze every ounce of legacy and learning out of this experience as we can. That is one way we can honour and respect the sacrifices others are making and the losses we communally face.

Go to the profile of Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

I am here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to clients based in Durham. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists locally. I have worked in private practice, the NHS, and in charitable organisations, with a wide range of clients and conditions.

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