How to Cope With Being Single at Weddings

If ever there is a season for weddings it would seem to be around now, and of course it's a happy occasion to attend... Unless you are single it seems. Many singles find it annoying, if not downright difficult to be at weddings, especially if it's highlighted that they aren't "with someone".

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While you may be thrilled on your friends behalf, you may be less thrilled with the sense of being one of the few singletons at the wedding. I have heard many people feel somewhat side tracked, and on one occasion really lonely, because the contrast of not being in a relationship "unlike everyone else" is so stark. Singletons might start to feel that they too need to find a partner.

There is a very simple explanation to this experience. Humans are social animals. We thrive the most when we feel like a part of a community or a group. It is in our DNA to be part of something. So when the you find yourself in a situation where you are a minority, you become different to most people there (in this case, single), you are then very likely to feel rejected in some way. Especially when it's a clear contrast, for example Aunty Hortensia loudly asking where your (non) beau is.

However subtle or fleeting that feeling of 'I have not, I want/should what they have', there are a couple of things you can do to remedy that, because after all, there is nothing wrong with being single.

1. Arrange beforehand to go on a date or hang out with other single friends after the wedding. Literally have a date in the diary, so the wedding merely becomes 'another thing' you have on that weekend.

2. Think of three things that are great about being single. What can you do as a singleton that you wouldn't be able to do once you are in a relationship? Write them down to help you memorise them. (Go on, do it now!). This will build a mini arsenal against any thoughts of 'being different' once you are at the wedding. You are after all not alone. There a many single people out there, just not at the wedding!

At the end of the day you are there to support and celebrate your friend. You want to have a good time, don't let negative thoughts or other people's comments ruin that for you. Weddings can be great fun. Go out there and have a blast, that's what they are there for.

Madeleine Mason Roantree

Dating Psychologist, The Vida Consultancy Ltd

Dating and relationship expert, with an MSc and BSc in psychology, pending counselling psychology doctorate, Cert. in Applied Positive Psychology, plus cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), person-centred and psychodynamic training. Madeleine offers personal coaching and counselling sessions as well as seminars and workshops. Having experience in marriage, divorce, dating and relationships, Madeleine is passionate about helping people to understand their own needs and getting successful results in their personal relationships. She was shortlisted for Dating Expert of the Year 2014 and 2015 at the UK Dating Awards, plus nominated best dating expert in the world at the 2016 iDate awards. She has worked with various publications such as TimeOut, Daily Telegraph, The Independent and continues to blog at LifeLabs. In 2016 she founded the UK Dating Fair, an annual event for singles to get dating advice and meet the best dating experts in the UK, she is open to collaboration and idea exchanges within the helping profession.

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