'Plan B' - The Danger
What does having a 'Plan B' mean when you relate it to your life path? What we think becomes reality. Get clear on what you really want, throw out your plan B and prepare for success, not failure!
What does having a Plan B mean when you relate it to your life path?
What you’ll do if the first plan doesn’t work out, being prepared in case something goes wrong or having a back up if you need to change direction ALL seem to fit the bill until you give it more thought.
When I was growing up I really wanted to be an actress and although I was supported by my parents they always said that just in case I failed, I needed a Plan B to fall back on. I’ve spoken to a few friends about this and they experienced something similar. If it wasn’t a steady, boring, safe office job then you needed a Plan B.
It made me wonder what might be different if my parents had said “Go for it, if you focus on just that and believe you can do it, you will succeed”
HOW OFTEN DO YOU GIVE YOURSELF A PLAN B AND WHAT DOES HAVING A PLAN B REALLY SAY ABOUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE WILL HAPPEN?
When I listened a little closer this is what I heard Plan B whisper.
“This is the compromise I will settle for if I fail”
“I believe something will go wrong here so I want a back up”
“It’s OK if I don’t get what I really want as I’ve decided I’m happy to fail”
Having a plan B splits your focus and dilutes the emotion behind getting what you really want. You’ve created a soft landing to “fall back on” which means you know you’re going to trip up. I don’t think anyone goes out with crutches just in case they break their leg or plasters already stuck on their head, elbows and knees in case they fall over. If you believe you’ll be ok then if you choose to change direction in the future you’ll be able to, effortlessly.
We never really know how we’ll feel in the future but we need to trust that everything will always be OK. Getting to where you really want to be in life doesn’t tend to happen overnight, you have to be committed to giving yourself what you truly deserve. To boost your belief around Plan A, ask yourself “What am I most scared of happening?” then face those fears and work through them, most of the time the potential reward of reaching your goal far outweighs the likelihood of those fears becoming true.
What we think becomes a reality. If you’re clear on what you really want for yourself, throw out your Plan B and prepare for success, not failure. Otherwise when times get hard and your goal seems further away, quitting becomes easier because that seems like an uncomplicated option.
Plan B tends to niggle away at us “Come to me, I’m ready for you, I’m a safe option, this is what you should be doing, you believe so yourself or else I wouldn’t be here”. Time to say screw you Plan B. I deserve what I really want and I believe I can have it so I’m kicking you to the curb for my first choice.
I never did make it as an actress, I left school at 16 and my mum made me do a GNVQ in admin, just in case. Do I have some regret? Yes actually, I would have loved to see how that panned out with just my Plan A in place. Upon reflection, I would love to be a Romcom actress like Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Anniston. I love being a bit silly and goofy. Now though I make the most of that valuable lesson and go for what I really want. It’s not always easy, you have to push yourself, challenge your fears and limiting beliefs but the rewards are massive.
You don’t have to apply this directly to your life, just take what lands for you and go with it. If none of it does then that’s cool too. Some people like to rip the plaster off quickly and others like to go slow, as long as there are no plasters on as a precaution then you’re on the right path 😉
I'm Lydia Kimmerling - The Happiness Explorer - and I help you to quit the happiness waiting game and break the cycle of saying "I'll be happy when...", "I have more success", "I lose more weight", or "I get more Tinder matches", so that you stop outsourcing your happiness to the future and discover what it means to be truly happy and fulfilled, in the now.
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