Many people engage in the process of self-sabotaging without realising it. Sadly, due to their patterns of thought they mentally block themselves from taking necessary actions due to these common fears, the fear of failing; the fear of the unknown, the fear of pain and rejection. These fears can be crippling and prevent individuals from getting their needs met in the form of the goals they would like to set.
Our self-sabotage might be a recurring habit, a default behaviour or even an unconscious way we keep ourselves feeling safe when we are out of our comfort zone. Unfortunately, there are implicit, explicit and challenging parental demands we often accept and internalise as the necessary way to be, which in many situations can often hold us back from happiness, success or peace of mind.
As a psychotherapist I encourage my clients to be aware of their behaviours and how they can be a major inhibitor to their goals, preventing them from excelling in areas which may have been for them naturally proficient. In working with a therapist, you can begin to learn more about your inner voice, that continually criticises and berates you. This voice unhelpfully contributes to feelings of worthlessness, incompetence and taps into an insecurity in a negative cycle of self-sabotage.
Our awareness is our most valuable tool in overcoming self-sabotaging behaviours. By allowing ourselves to be moved by our suffering at the hands of our self-critic we can strengthen our desire to heal. New insights can allow individuals to see that their thoughts and beliefs about the past and the future are just thoughts.