In response to your 'answer' of course it has become my problem living with a partner generally means you share everything. You have completely missed the point of my question in the expanded section.
Dear Fith Fath
I haven't read what the previous answer was so am writing this 'blind', this also has the advantage of being unbiased.
It's incredibly difficult to live with an anxious and OCD partner and I imagine you'd do anything to 'fix' it-it's hard to see someone suffer.
However- and this may be hard to hear- all you can do is be as 'safe' and 'containing ' presence. Which is, no doubt, hard and frustrating at times.
The only person who can 'fix' the anxiety and OCD is your partner.
Although CBT is recommended by nice for anxiety it hasn't been helpful in this instance.
I would suggest Psychodynamic psychotherapy. This is long term but will get to what unconscious reasons are lying behind and driving the anxiety.
The kindest thing you can do is be there and be the voice of reason.
Love, support but don't collude.
I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but it's the most professional and honest answer I can give.
I am sorry you did not find my first answer useful.
I do have experience of working with anxiety and OCD, which I come to from quite a different perspective to the one you have been taking. The cognitive approach does not work in all cases, and I wanted to offer you an alternative, which would include looking at the underlying dynamic which has brought you to the point of desperation.
Best wishes to both you and your wife.
Hello, could you tell us a little of what you are thinking in terms of Confirmation Bia and I will respond. Best wishes.