Help. I am 59. My husband died 14 years ago. I took me over 10 years to get on with my life. Three years ago I met up with the guy I dated in high school and we started dating again and after a yea

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Wanda Watson Pirani on Sep 22, 2016 • 1 answer
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I moved in with him. He is wonderful and good to me. He went through a very nasty divorce, she left for a coworker. He tells he cares for me but he doesn't love and doesn't know if he ever will. I don't know what to do...stay or go. Maybe at 59 I should just be happy because I can't stand being alone. I only problem we have is at times I just get tired of him nothing loving me.

Answers

Not being able to 'stand being alone' isn't a good basis for being in any relationship. That type of emotional need can cloud our judgement about the relationships we form and tolerate.
There are different types of love and ways of showing them... and a problem can arise when there is a mismatch between how one person shows their love and how the other person would prefer it to be shown.
The relationship you knew with your late husband is bound to be different to this more recent one - and some of those contrasts may be painful for you.
Do you feel that you are just 'settling' for being his companion? If so it's understandable that you miss the depth and excitement of a more romantic and intimate relationship.
The question is - would you find that elsewhere? Do you want to look for it?
He has been betrayed and perhaps as he develops more trust in you he might open up his feelings and your relationship could flourish...but there's no guarantee of that.
You have an important decision to make for yourself - one which will satisfy both your head and your heart. Please take care of your 'self' enough that you can bear to be alone and in your own company, and even enjoy it!
All of your relationships will be affected by the most important one you have - the one with yourself.

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Maxine Harley on Sep 22, 2016
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