I'm a teen and have some boyfriend issues.My bf says that he loves me but his best friends hate

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Annie T on Mar 20, 2016 • 2 answers
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me so he doesn't really show any interest in me infront of his friends.And he doesn't want to accept me infront of his everyone. In school he kind of ignores me infront of everyone and always instructs me not to share with anyone that we are in a relationship.He hangs around with his best buddies(gals and boys) included but never asks me out. What should I do

Answers

I am sorry to hear you have issues with your boyfriend. He sounds as if he is lacking in confidence and afraid of what his friends think. This can happen when you are young and finding it difficult to follow your own heart and mind. So you have to make a decision. How do you feel when he is ignoring you and silencing you? What does it do to your confidence? Maybe you feel your self esteem lowered, you may feel hurt, is it worth being with someone who is afraid to have a gf in public? These are the questions you can ask yourself.

You are not alone, this does happen to other people, but it is not really acceptable. Any young man, you refer to as a boyfriend should feel proud to be with you and not hide. Maybe it is time to let him go if he cannot honestly say you are together and be with someone who is proud to be with you. Only you can decide.

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Caroline Shola Arewa on Mar 20, 2016
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Honestly, this concerns me as your boyfriend seems to have all the power in this relationship. Even the language you are using 'instructs' is the language of control and not intimacy. Have a read through the information on this site and see if you think it fits what is happening for you:https://www.disrespectnobody.co.uk/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw6Ya5BRDdyOewyo_Z_64BEiQA-fVKe7jhqflmskMJ7sclSrgXwK_s3B1BjJZqMSY4MEMr6zUaArap8P8HAQ .

A good friend once told me a really simple way of knowing what to do in a relationship. Ask yourself what your pleasure/pain ratio is. How much pleasure does he bring you and how much pain. If it's 80% pleasure and 20% pain you might put up with the pain, if it's 50/50 you might want to think differently. Listen to your instincts. If you feel bad about this then that is your internal guidance telling you all you need to know.
Trust yourself and look after yourself

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Dr Julie Leoni on Apr 28, 2016
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