You are never and always Alone
There is a duality built into existence that we are always alone and never alone. This truth informs our relationship to our own suffering, and hence our healing.
I have never met a person who has not suffered in their life.
Whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually – most I believe, will encounter a wound at all levels of consciousness at some point in their life. It is an inescapable part of the human experience, no matter what special form it arrives in.
In that we are never alone.
Pain cannot be compared or measured. What pains us in life cannot be judged by other people’s experiences or compared to another person’s wound, trauma or loss. Your wound can never be judged as bigger or smaller, worse or less than mine.
In the experience of our suffering, we are always alone.
I also know that pain is an intrinsic part of healing. We cannot hurt if we cannot heal. We cannot heal if we cannot hurt. This intrinsic relationship is embedded into the teachings of existence, into the revelations of the secret powers of consciousness that translates into mastery of life. In that we are never alone. We walk this walk of life together.
However, it is also the same reason why we are always alone with the experience of our suffering. Our life journey to master the teachings of life through our healing is unique. No one will ever be able to take your journey but you. In that you'll always be alone.
Because of this intrinsic gift of duality, I have over the years seen people get stuck in their healing, in, among others, two places;
One is in the belief that one’s pain is special. I think it derives from the subconscious knowing that our life journey is inherently solitary and unique in how our shared teachings arrive. However, no matter how personal and painful our experience feels, it is never special. And that is a good thing. Because it means that we are not alone, and we can heal. And it ultimately helps us to understand that we are never alone in the shared suffering of humanity. We realize that at the root of any experience, is the shared experience of the pain and healing of being human.
For as long as we keep attached to the idea that our pain is somehow special we cannot heal. Instead we keep looking for someone to take a pain away so special that no one is special enough to take it away. A pain so special that no one else will understand it. Consequently, creating a reality where one is keeping oneself from ever feeling met and understood. It is an endless search, until we realize that it is an illusion that we ourselves have wrapped around us to not truly meet our wound.
As soon as we lose attachment to our pain being special, we open ourselves up to healing. To the acceptance of pain as an inescapable part of life, and to seeing that our experience might be different, but our deepest pain is shared. And we open ourselves up to receive the healing we need, the support we truly need, and to receive the teachings we need to become whole.
For others, they deny the pain is even there. I think this derives from the subconscious knowing that pain is an unavoidable part of life for us all. The resistance to recognizing one’s suffering is so big that one suppresses that it is even there. Instead, the unrecognized suffering is projected into the world, into the responsibility of others and their wrongdoings or into the belief it cannot be different. It is difficult to meet people in their suffering, when they have not met themselves in their truth of suffering. It is like fighting fantasy monsters. And in that, they keep themselves separate from the possibility of ever being truly seen by another and to open up to the idea that they can free themselves of suffering.
Both ways are subconscious strategies to hold on to one’s suffering, born out of the inherent duality of life. One is not more or less painful than the other. They are just two ways of choosing to sustain suffering. And they can even be employed at the same time. There are many reasons why people choose to hold on to their suffering. However, the reasons, I have found, always lead to one root, the fear of our own Light.
And that is one of the paradoxical truths that informs the rhythm of life. Just like the truth that we are always alone, and never alone in that. That we can never avoid suffering, and we can always heal from that.