Why heartbreak is like a riptide

Do you know what the safest thing to do is if you suddenly find yourself in a riptide? Let it take you.

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Why heartbreak is like a riptide

Do you know what the safest thing to do is if you suddenly find yourself in a riptide? 

Let it take you. 

Terrifying, right?

The feeling of being swept away from the safety of the shore, surrender to the unknown, an almost certain death.

We do this all the time when it comes to matters of the heart.

Bobbing along in the calm seas, splashing around in the waves while it’s fun and you feel in control. Until you realise you are treading water and your toes can’t quite touch the surface beneath them anymore.

You’re not sure exactly when this happened but the signs were there. They always are. The colour of the water was different, sand being swept up as the direction of the current changed. Everybody else is still bobbing in the distance but you’re further away from them now.

Realisation kicks in, you’re in deep, you’ve gone too far. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. Where are the people you need?

So you swim. Or try to. Using all your energy to push against the tide that is way to powerful for you. It’s exhausting, relentless and kicking against it is pointless. Just like we do with our emotions and the pain in our hearts.

So. Let it take you.

It will feel like you are drifting away from safety and the certainty of the shore for a while but your head will be above the water and you will be able to breathe. Your body can relax even though you don’t know what is going to happen. You become part of the ocean.

What you will find is that what feels like being swept away is actually you being taken to calmer waters. Parallel to where you were. It is from here that you can start to swim again; you will see the shore and the ocean will feel safe like it is holding you, it is actually helping you to return.

If you look around, you’ll see there are arms reaching out to you; hands for you to hold onto. Desperate to get you to safety. You will see familiar faces, new faces. Your feet will touch the sand again.

So, how would it feel to let the riptide take you?

Godrevy Beach Cornwall UK Riptide

Sarah Benbow

Relational Self Awareness | Heart Break Coach, Second Story Coaching

“Great relationships don’t just happen.”

We all have an inner narrative that directs the way we live our lives.

As children, we learn how and who we need to be to receive love. This can leave us as adults believing things about ourselves that are untrue and leads us to being unsatisfied, having ‘failed’ relationships or wondering why we can’t find the love we want.

Second Story Coaching is about becoming aware of your old stories and how to create new ones even when you are hurt and can't see a way forward.

When you know what you want and why, you can create meaning and have a sense of belonging in the world whether you are in a relationship or not.

It’s OK to not have it all figured out right now. 

Sarah is a relational self awareness coach, she has been coaching and mentoring for over 8 years and formally trained with Barefoot Coaching in 2020. She is trauma aware and works to the EMCC ethics.

She turned her focus to relational awareness coaching after she navigated her way through her own divorce and realising the importance of self awareness in order to have conscious, loving, meaningful relationships.

Her coaching is influenced by conscious awareness, psychology, mental health awareness, nervous system regulation, somatics and embodiment.