Therapy is not always comfortable
Here's a short reflection on why being at the edge of what we find tolerable in therapy is a good thing
It can take courage to reach out for psychotherapy, especially if you know what you are letting yourself in for. You see, while a skilled psychotherapist will be very able to create rapport and to help you feel safe and comfortable with them, there is more to it than just this.
Psychotherapy is about inviting clients to the edge of what they can tolerate, and then helping them to manage this degree of stimulation or activation safely. They get an experience of using their therapist as a secure relational base in who’s company they can explore and discover their emotions, thoughts and somatic experiences.
As clients experience being able to tolerate the arousal in their bodymind system, what they can contain in themselves expands. We call this expanding the window of tolerance, and its key to recovery from mental health symptoms. We want to help clients contain themselves, then they are not dependent on their therapist, they can relate interdependently and be at choice in other relationships too.
Psychotherapy can be an adventure, its edgy, provoking and at times feels risky. Its also rewarding, heart-warming and often full of laughter. It’s a relationship like no other.