What do you expect?
We get what we expect. That’s quite a simple statement really.
In our society most of us would expect to have a home, enough to eat, some friends and some form of entertainment. Not everyone does, but most of us do and we don’t really think that much about it. In fact we might take those things for granted because we expect them to be there and so they are, the thought of not having those things doesn’t really cross our minds.
Because those things are a subconscious expectation, we subconsciously bring them into being.
The things I mentioned just now are some of the basics in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. They are at the bottom of the triangle and most people achieve this.
When we start to look at life in more detail, we tend to hit some stumbling blocks.
Things like employment, a good income, a successful business, self respect, confidence, a loving partner, good work life balance, these are things that not everyone expects. This is where limitations come in which are down to subconscious expectations.
If you have received the message that you are unemployable, undeserving, needy, demanding, difficult or incompetent, those ideas will sneak into your subconscious and cause you not to expect things, to think they are only available for other people. You might find you always end up with difficult partners, can never get the job you want, nobody wants to buy your products or that you have to work all the hours there are just to make ends meet.
You might look at other people who have the things you want and feel how unfair it is that you don’t have them. Why can’t you have those things?
I am not writing this from an academic high horse - yes, I am a certified practitioner - but, as with all my work, I come from a place of experience. A place of continuous questioning of the way things have been and how they can be if I choose. My reason for writing is that until you know where to look there is so much you don’t see. So much you accept when you don’t have to. Life has so much more to offer.
Take a look at these two flowers:
Imagine the one on the right is something you have: A home, food, clothes - things you’d expect to have.
Now imagine the one on the left is something you would like but think you can’t have: A partner, a holiday, big house or new car.
Look at it this way: Does the flower on the left expect to always stay a small bud because it knows the other one has already bloomed and so doesn’t think that it can? Does it think that because it hasn’t bloomed yet that there is no point in doing so? Does it think it isn’t fair?
Or does it expect to bloom because it is a flower, and because other flowers bloom it knows that when it is ready it will also bloom. When it is time for it to bloom, I’d like to think that it will be content to be a flower not a bud, it will enjoy unfurling its petals and showing the world how beautiful it is.
So my questions are:
- What do you expect when you really stop and think about it?
- How aware are you of what you think is okay for you to expect?
- What would you expect if there were no subconscious limits on your expectations?
If you would like some help to find out the true answers to some or all of these questions and find the ways out of the expectation wilderness, have a look at my coaching page to see if you think I can help.
If you are all ready to go after your dreams and sky rocket your expectations, to try them on for size and get into how it would feel to achieve them, try my Creative Visualisation.
If this article has awakened any realisations within you or led to an ‘aha’ moment, please email and let me know.
Have a great week and expect the best for yourself,