I know I haven’t been writing loads…there’s been a weird collapse of time. Instead I have been reading and listening to podcasts and sort of listening to the natural world and how my body feels. I can feel that change is happening but it has felt from the ground up, rather than head, like earth tremors moving where my feet stand in soil.
My cognition seems to be turned down, the unused to so many uncertainties, the sharp, clarity of intellect has given up for looking for certainties and left my body to lead the way.
It feels like I am sniffing my way forward, not even looking for clues, just sniffing really close to the ground. Feeling my way. Following where my energy is. This book lies unfinished, another has been devoured and then that book led to another, which led to another, which led to a podcast, which led to another book; I’m following a scent, a trail of breadcrumbs but I don’t know where it is going.
So many of the people I am coaching at the moment are struggling with uncertainty and are wanting ‘to know’, to ‘make plans’, to ‘get back to normal’ and yes there is so little we know, so much change, so much that is not normal that our old cognitive systems and ways of thinking just don’t work. We need to go feral, to listen to nature, to take it moment by moment, step by step because anything else is overwhelming.
And, this sniffing feels much more real, much more grounded in what my body says…energy here..move towards it, lack of energy here, move away. My head is so full of social conditioning, so many rules and shoulds and structures that didn’t prevent the spread of the virus, or the killing of George Floyd, or the climate crisis, or poverty, abuse, war, social division, the rise in depression, anxiety, suicide. The old ways of thinking have not made for a sustainable world, with sustainable economies, relationships, communities and well-being. We are not living sustainably but are exploiting and abusing each other and the more than human world.
So maybe sniffing our way, feeling, connecting to the earth is a new way to find our way, slowly, to a more connected, sustainable, harmonious place which is good for every part: every leaf, every tree, every person, every creature, every molecule of this amazing and fragile world.
Here’s what I mused on my early morning walk.
Or, if you prefer, you can listen to the podcast here.
If you want more inspiration for how to let yourself be changed by this weird situation visit me at .https://www.julieleoni.com/
Fox photo by Ray Hennessy