Learning from yourself in relationships

Today I talk about how we learn about ourselves through our interactions with other people, if only we take the time to stop and notice.

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We come to know ourselves through our interactions with other people. It’s a bit like others hold up a mirror to us, we see ourselves reflected in them, sometimes noticing the things that are the same, and sometimes noticing things that are different. Those differences may be benign, just differences. Sometimes though, we may be hurt or wounded by what people do or say. Their actions and our reaction or response lets us know something about our personal values.

When we feel hurt, angry or disappointed with someone else, rather than projecting those feelings outwards, it can be useful to look within and discover what it is about what happened that has touched us. What is important to you that has been transgressed?

You can learn much from your reactions and responses. Did you attack? Defend? Defer? Avoid? Were you open about your feelings? Did you listen and explore what was happening for the other? Did you agree boundaries?

When a relationship ruptures, reflection about what you now want to have happen can be useful. If you notice repeated ruptures with similar characteristics, then psychotherapy may help you work them through and become more at choice.

#psychotherapy #therapy #therapist #relationships

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Hi. I'm Fe, and I'm here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I believe every client is unique, I work with you to help you explore, discover and grow in whatever ways are right for you. I work with a wide range of clients, both long and short term. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to UK clients online and in Gainford, Co.Durham in North-East England. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists online and in person. Following a career in Organisation Development I became a therapist because it's my heart work. Before having my family and starting my private practice I worked in the NHS and mental health charities.