In your darkest days, there's always a glimmer of hope... if you look hard enough.
Trainee Ollie Coach, Caz Cambell, reflects on how everyone has had struggles in their lives and everyone is going through something right now, whether small, big... or life changing and helps us to to remember we are resilient and we can get through whatever faces us.
When I think of resilience and positivity I think of daisies as they are super resilient (whenever I mow the lawn they pop back up the next day!), plus they’re such a lovely, positive vision.
Everyone has had struggles in their lives and everyone is going through something right now, whether small, big... or life changing. Looking at hurdles we've overcome in our past, how we battled, what worked, what didn't, helps us to remember we are resilient and we can get through whatever faces us.
I'm training as an Ollie coach and this is reflected in the Ollie model which explains this to children really well:
First of all, Ollie has many super powers that represent his feelings. They all help him in some way and he knows that he can tap into his super powers whenever he needs them. For example if he faces a new challenge he uses his brave super power. He knows he has all the tools within him to deal with life.
Second of all, part of Ollie's brain is like a library that stores his memories. Events that happen get filed away everyday with the date on the box. Sometimes, when Ollie looks back at memories from the past, they can seem scary, like the time he was left alone in his lounge for 10 minutes when he was 2 years old. Ollie is older now and he understands that when he was 2, he didn't like being left alone, but now he doesn't think twice about being by himself for 10 minutes. He also has a memory from when he was 4 of some kids calling him names which made him cry and want to leave a party. But as an older child, Ollie knows that memory was from when he was younger and hadn't yet learnt how to tap into his resilience super power. Ollie can look back at his past memories, learn from them and use them to be an even stronger person. He looks for the positives, for the super powers that have helped him and are shaping who he is.
This totally relates to adults as well, we are all growing still as people and we can look back to past experiences and look for the positives, what we may have gained or learned, look for that silver lining. These are a few examples from my life:
Throughout my childhood, my parents argued constantly, never showed any love to each other and split up on and off. BUT I appreciated what I did have - dogs, a sister, friends, a garden and holidays. I also learnt self-preservation and independence.
At 11 I nearly died from an extremely rare illness that no doctor knew about. They carried out a wrong operation, then I was temporarily paralyzed after they made a mistake with my medication. BUT they saved my life, I’m so grateful because if I'd been born a few years earlier I would've died (from lack of technology).
At 14 I was raped by a man in his 30s. BUT, it's made me a strong mum of two girls, determined to teach them assertiveness and self-belief.
At 15 I was anorexic, which turned into bulimia, self-harm and lasted for years on and off. BUT I learnt a deep understanding of mental health, addiction and many types of therapies, as well as becoming a non-judgmental empath.
At 17 my parents split for good and my mum went from horrible to even worse. She’s always been my biggest source of upset and stress for many reasons. BUT she has taught me the biggest lessons in how not to be as I pretty much strive to be the opposite of her. I’ve finally learnt to set boundaries and realised that I can’t let others’ behaviours control how I feel.
Looking for the positives certainly isn’t easy. I did a test on self-belief and I had the lowest score out of hundreds of people, and it hit me how much I need to work on this. I can understand how my past has lead me to a lack of self-belief, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-worth. BUT because of the experiences I’ve had, I now realise I was building up my super powers of bravery, resilience, confidence, gratitude and more. I am determined to show my daughters that I have self-love, as I am their role model. They look up to me and mimic me, so even if I fake it a little, that's fine - as they will believe it, and my brain starts to believe it too!
Useful questions to ask yourself:
- What struggles have you had in your past?
- How did you deal with them, what things helped you overcome them?
- Think of a struggle you face now and what you're feeling - about it and yourself?
- What is this (problem / feeling) similar to?
- What skills have you learnt from your past, which you could use in your present issue?
Caz Campbell, Ollie Coach trainee
I studied Zoology which was made up of Biology and Psychology so I have a huge interest for the science of the human body and mind. Which lead me to become an IAIM baby massage instructor, where I teach parents to massage and bond with their baby as well as talking about parenting highs and lows.
I’ve been on the receiving end of many different forms of therapy from the age of 14 so I have tried & tested many methods myself. All these things have lead me to train as an Ollie Coach. My passion in life (apart from music and animals!) is helping people so I’m looking forward to the years ahead!
To get in contact with Caz, email firstname.lastname@example.org
To find out more about Ollie and his Super Powers and how to become an Ollie Coach go to https://www.ollieandhissuperpowers.com/pages/about-us