I feel like giving up!

Stepping forward and being visible can feel scary and lonely. When you get nothing back, it's easy to feel demoralised.

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My client did all the right things when starting her new business.  Created a beautiful website and wrote her first inspirational blog.  It was SO GOOD for someone who's new to this.

And yet she felt AWFUL.  She felt like abandoning the whole idea.

When you try to put yourself out there, with a heartfelt blog or with your first social media posts, or trying to galvanise change in your organisation, the silence afterwards is DEAFENING!  It takes so much courage to be visible, that your subconscious mind is searching for evidence that it was worth it.
Secretly, you want someone to come straight back and say "Oh my gosh, you're exactly who I've been looking for!".

But it doesn't happen like that. 

So I've put together some of my top tips to help you, if you're scared to start, or you've been experiencing a desert when it comes to social media and being visible.


1. Focus on being you and doing what you love, because by being consistent you will attract the right clients.  If you keep changing who you are, you will never build an audience.

2.  Remember that the child standing in the playground, visibly hoping to be liked, gets ignored.  It's an awful part of human nature.  Start playing at what you love and keep going, and other people will get curious.  Keep turning up, for the love of the work, not through fear of lack of clients.

3.  When writing content, focus on what your ideal client needs and wants.  Too many people fall into the trap of writing about THEMSELVES.  You can use past lessons as a way to illustrate your point, but focus on what THEY need to hear.  I call this talking about your scars, but waiting until your scabs are fully healed.  Sharing your open wounds is over-sharing.  Sharing powerful past lessons is helpful for other people.

4.  Do the INNER work.  If you're battling with confidence, your inner critic, fear of running out of money, or hiding who you really are, people around you can smell it a mile away.  Keep working on yourself, keep exploring what shadows are holding you back, and each time you level-up your own development, the clients will come.  I don't actually know how this works, so I'm not going to give you a woo-woo explanation, but I do know it's astonishing how, when we are ready for the work, the work arrives.

5.  Don't hustle.  Hustling reveals your scarcity mindset.  Support, inspire and inform, so that people are aware of the work you do and learn to trust you.  We rarely buy from the first contact, so if you're running a business, play the long game.

It doesn't matter whether you're running a business, stepping up in your organisation, or being a parent, each of these tips is pertinent.  Focus on what you have to offer the world, and the world will come to you.

Nicola Harker

Coach and Mentor (ex-doctor) and teacher of Self-Compassion, Nicola Harker Coaching

Using neuroscience, self-compassion techniques and coaching as well as high-performance techniques I help my clients free their potential and get back to their true selves so that they can thrive in life.