Do you feel the need to be perfect?

In this blog Fe considers the costs of perfectionism, and what you might consider if it afflicts you.

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Many people have a quest for perfection. If this includes you, you will find it hard to accept that you, or the things you do, are ever good enough. You probably also find other people lacking, disappointing even. Fantasies of how the world should be are likely a continual source of frustration, feeling let down a frequent companion, and shame a regular visitor.

Wanting perfection can lead us to feel dreadful about ourselves. It can also be quite isolating. If you feel you never feeling quite measure up, you my want to hide away or distance yourself from others, so that they don’t see your flaws. You may even do this in plain sight, in relationship but really behind your shields and defences.

The sad thing is, there is no such thing as perfect. The quest for perfection is a fruitless one, we will never achieve or possess it.

“Quick and dirty wins the race. Perfection is the enemy of done. Good enough is really effin’ good.” Andrea Scher

Brene Brown quotes these ideas from Andrea in one of her books, and they just really made me smile. Done can feel good, especially when you can recognise the good enough nature of what is done. How many times have you, in extremis, had to leave something at quick and dirty, tied yourself in knots knowing it could have been better, to later find it was just fine, and there was no disastrous consequence. I know I have been there frequently.

Why not try out this week the idea that quick and dirty wins the race. That done and good enough really is sufficient. Enough. Complete. Appropriate. Just as it is.

As Leonard Cohen says, it’s the cracks that let in the light.

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Hi. I'm Fe, and I'm here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I believe every client is unique, I work with you to help you explore, discover and grow in whatever ways are right for you. I work with a wide range of clients, both long and short term. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to UK clients online and in Gainford, Co.Durham in North-East England. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists online and in person. Following a career in Organisation Development I became a therapist because it's my heart work. Before having my family and starting my private practice I worked in the NHS and mental health charities.