Ever found yourself, not acknowledging the existence of a problem, doing nothing when you do and telling yourself that it's fine, it doesn't really matter that your friend never calls. This is a form of discount.
Taken from Transactional Analysis (TA) discounting is defined as: "unawarely ignoring information relevant to a situation." We all do it but how do we stop it. Firstly we must recognise, at what level of discount do we start. In TA it is common to consider 4 levels of discount starting with discounting the 'existence' of a problem, to discounting the 'significance' of the problem, throughout to discounting the possibility for 'change,' to finally discounting our abilities and capabilities, often leaving us feeling helpless, hopeless or angry and full of rage.
When we begin the discounting process we will engage in affiliated behaviours, consider, passive aggressive, starting with 'doing nothing,' to 'overcompensating' or 'adapting,' through to 'agitating' and finally becoming 'incapacitated' or 'violent.'
So how do we stop? These following steps help:
- don't overlook what's happening, let your self know that there is a problem
- explore potential solutions
- explore your skill sets for being proactive v's reactive in finding a solution
- explore strategies your capable of delivering, don't set yourself up for a fall by coming up with larger than life goals
- embrace the idea of positive change and your ability to see it through.