Quit the Habit of Comparing Yourself

Comparisons really are odious and here's why.

Go to the profile of Vanessa Anstee
Jul 16, 2013
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We start out in a new field like entrepreneurship and it's natural we look to role models for how it should be done. Whenever we do something new, we want to look at who's out there, what have they done, what works, where the gaps in the market are. We want to find the sure fire, easy and quick route to success... or at least try to!


So I want to play with this a little and to do it I'm going to use the example of Zapnito.

Zapnito is a new, shiny platform which aims to share networked knowledge without being noisy. As a micro genius I'm given a login, password and encouragement to share my content. As with all new things, the first time you use it, you're a bit nervous (well I was anyway). I was hesitant and particularly when I've got to do an introductory video.

Now... here comes the hundred dollar question... what do you think the first thing I did when I went on the site? Yes you guessed it... I checked out who else was on here and what they were up to.

Why? Because I wanted to understand who my neighbours were and how to position myself. Having explored it a little I could see one thing... that each micro genius is a person in their own right. They have a unique voice, perspective, energy and intention behind their presence. So having looked at my neighbours, I was able to straight away release the notion that I had to show up in a particular way (and that by the way is one of the things I think is super cool about Zapnito).

But what's really interesting about what I did is that it's what I see so many emerging entrepreneurs doing and its what has them end up spinning their wheels.

As someone that's new to the field of running your own business, it's really natural for you to check out the competition. It's healthy and pro-active to do that. And, if you let that competition influence how you think you need to show up, you're giving away your best asset... your USP.

The way you do your work and your business needs to be in total alignment with who you are. It needs to reflect your strengths and energies. It's no good showing up all kick arse in your web copy if when someone meets you you're all zen like.

Ask yourself, "Why am I comparing myself to others?" I'm guessing it's because you're scared on some level. Scared you're not enough, not as good as others, not as shiny. It's normal to be scared but that fear is something to embrace and walk towards. You don't need to shrink from it.

Our world works on comparisons. It begins from the moment you're born. People want to know that you're developing normally and it benchmarks you against norms.

Ask yourself, "What am I hoping to get by comparing myself?" Are you looking for validation? No-one can tell you if something's going to work unless maybe their psychic. They may be able to take an educated guess but sometimes the craziest of ideas take off. You have to be the one that self validates.

If you really want to quit the habit of comparing yourself then the first stage is to recognise it is a habit. Like all habits if we want to change them it takes consistent effort to do something different. So the next time you go to compare yourself with others, stop and remind yourself of your USP that no-one else has.

Go to the profile of Vanessa Anstee

Vanessa Anstee

Life Coach

I'm inspired by who you can be without apology and I want to help you let your real self shine. I've been a life coach for 10 years. I've always been a seeker trying to discover a way of being in life that feels soulful, authentic and aligned to what my heart wants not what my head thinks I should have, be or do. I spent 20+ year career in HR, OD, talent management and executive coaching. My kids were my biggest wake up. I saw the way I was working wasn't working anymore. I couldn't keep pushing myself harder. I had to accept I couldn't attain this perfected version of myself that I had strived most of my life to achieve. I had to find love not from accolades and other people's acceptance but from deep inside me. That's when I learnt to connect to my heart, heal my childhood wounds and fears of never being enough and set light to my passion in a completely new way. I want one thing for my clients. Be real. Be themselves, fall madly in love with that person and honour their soul's calling.

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