Empowerment Challenge - Healing damaged relationships

Every relationship you save enhances you and your life. So where should you start?

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The quality of our relationships has more impact on our lives than anything else except our health

Powerful, lasting relationships increase our happiness, wellbeing, health and even life expectancy. But damaged or broken relationships weigh us down, depress and stress us and damage our reputation with other people.

You never close a door on a broken relationship. Even when you think a broken relationship is gone or behind you, it lurks in the background, waiting for a moment of vulnerability to burst back on to the scene to embarrass and dismay you again.

Damaged relationships afflict all areas of our life; childhood relationships, broken friendships, colleagues and contacts at work and potentially most serious of all, family. But how many people do you know who have let a close family relationship slip inexorably into dislike and open hostility? However long it is since you spoke to a family member they are still your family.

So is it ever too late to save a relationship?

The good news is no. It may sometimes feel like it is, but it never is. It is not always about being close buddies again; it can just be about avoiding acrimony and active dislike. Interestingly as a relationship trouble shooter 90% of the issues I had to deal with were actually misunderstandings not disagreements, so addressing the issue can be easier than you expect.

How do you go about saving a broken relationship?

The first thing to remember is that anyone can make the first move. The second thing is that the clue to any relationship breakdown can usually be found by understanding the differences or similarities that exist between the parties involved.

What to do

(You need to get your hands on a Be You Self Empowerment Pack or pack of Packtypes Cards)

  1. Packtype yourself
  2. Packtype the other person
  3. Compare the two profiles looking particularly for big similarities and differences.
  4. Find someone who knows you both and get them to do the same
  5. Give particular thought to the cards you chose to describe them and think about the most positive ways they describe the words you picked.
  6. Contact the other person and say you would like to meet up and why (you want to sort things out between you)
  7. Hopefully they will agree to meet and when you do you can explain what you have done. Go through all the positive things you see in them.
  8. Talk and LISTEN to what they have to say.
  9. Ask them to Packtype you and again be sure to listen to what they have to say.
  10. If you are unable to meet for any reason you can try writing a letter or email but face to face is always better.

What if I don't have any Packtypes Cards?

If you don't have any access to Packtypes Cards follow the same process but instead of Packtyping each other think about the most positive attributes of each person and then group similar attributes together under simple headings. Compare answers as above looking for key similarities and differences. Focus on the positive.

Will it be easy?

Not necessarily. The longer it has been since you were last in contact the harder it may seem. You will need to build up your courage to re-contact someone in this situation but the satisfaction you will get from having initiated positive action will make it all worth while. As with many things the hardest bit is often building up the courage to have a go.

But what have you got to lose?

At the end of the day it is the trying that matters. Whatever the outcome (and I regularly get told some amazing stories of reconciliation) you will always know that you tried, and that is critical. Relationships are far too important to just turn your back on them and walk away, particularly family relationships and long standing friendships.

The more you try this approach (you don't need to wait for a relationship to be in trouble to give it ago) the more you will start to understand the true nature of your friendship and relationships. And don't forget telling friends why you like and appreciate them is always a good thing to do at any time and something we don't do enough of.

Best wishes and be sure to share with me how you get on.

Packtypes Self Awareness Packs available £24.99.

Visit www.Packtypes.com for more information on enhancing self awareness and self esteem

Will Murray

Founder, Packtypes Gets you talking. Makes you think


Go to the profile of Chris Raymond
almost 7 years ago
Having used Packtypes for the last five years I can honestly say that it has had a massive impact on all the relationships important to me. I have found myself getting less stressed with my children, being more communicative with my friends and even more tolerant of differences I have with my wife :-).
You can never forget the the most important relationship of all though - the one you have with yourself.
I have endless conversations in my own head every single day about how I behave, think, perceive, judge, lead, manage, listen, communicate, etc. These thoughts used to fly around in a chaotic state sometimes surfacing negatively when you don't want them to, then at other times they can help you make the perfect call . The thing I love about Packtypes is the way it empowers me to organise and prioritise those random thoughts. It gives me a framework and structure to understand each thought, where it fits and how important it is, which allows me to make the right decision on how to then act. This has helped me mend broken relationships and build stronger relationships.
It also makes my outlook on life very positive; I feel in control, never the victim, always taking responsibility for my own behaviours, never reliant on others and always seeking to learn more. I am a curious optimist surrounded by a core of very special people close to me.
I am interested to know how other people using Packtypes have internalised it to make it so powerful for them?
Go to the profile of Walsh Bob
over 6 years ago
" Before I came across Dr. Stanley name on the internet and contacted him, I was a little bit skeptical in the beginning and the reason is we've tried different marriage counselors already and read numerous books on the subject on how i can get my husband back but there was no solution. There wasn't anything I could seem to do and that was why i contacted Dr. Stanley for help. However after using Dr. Stanley spell and following the instruction he gave me, I have been seeing significant results with my marriage situation. And I'm a whole lot happier in my self. My friends and family are very glad to see that I'm back to my husband again and more committed than before. All thanks to drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com for his help......Shaikha