Empowerment Challenge - Healing damaged relationships
Every relationship you save enhances you and your life. So where should you start?
The quality of our relationships has more impact on our lives than anything else except our health
Powerful, lasting relationships increase our happiness, wellbeing, health and even life expectancy. But damaged or broken relationships weigh us down, depress and stress us and damage our reputation with other people.
You never close a door on a broken relationship. Even when you think a broken relationship is gone or behind you, it lurks in the background, waiting for a moment of vulnerability to burst back on to the scene to embarrass and dismay you again.
Damaged relationships afflict all areas of our life; childhood relationships, broken friendships, colleagues and contacts at work and potentially most serious of all, family. But how many people do you know who have let a close family relationship slip inexorably into dislike and open hostility? However long it is since you spoke to a family member they are still your family.
So is it ever too late to save a relationship?
The good news is no. It may sometimes feel like it is, but it never is. It is not always about being close buddies again; it can just be about avoiding acrimony and active dislike. Interestingly as a relationship trouble shooter 90% of the issues I had to deal with were actually misunderstandings not disagreements, so addressing the issue can be easier than you expect.
How do you go about saving a broken relationship?
The first thing to remember is that anyone can make the first move. The second thing is that the clue to any relationship breakdown can usually be found by understanding the differences or similarities that exist between the parties involved.
What to do
(You need to get your hands on a Be You Self Empowerment Pack or pack of Packtypes Cards)
- Packtype yourself
- Packtype the other person
- Compare the two profiles looking particularly for big similarities and differences.
- Find someone who knows you both and get them to do the same
- Give particular thought to the cards you chose to describe them and think about the most positive ways they describe the words you picked.
- Contact the other person and say you would like to meet up and why (you want to sort things out between you)
- Hopefully they will agree to meet and when you do you can explain what you have done. Go through all the positive things you see in them.
- Talk and LISTEN to what they have to say.
- Ask them to Packtype you and again be sure to listen to what they have to say.
- If you are unable to meet for any reason you can try writing a letter or email but face to face is always better.
What if I don't have any Packtypes Cards?
If you don't have any access to Packtypes Cards follow the same process but instead of Packtyping each other think about the most positive attributes of each person and then group similar attributes together under simple headings. Compare answers as above looking for key similarities and differences. Focus on the positive.
Will it be easy?
Not necessarily. The longer it has been since you were last in contact the harder it may seem. You will need to build up your courage to re-contact someone in this situation but the satisfaction you will get from having initiated positive action will make it all worth while. As with many things the hardest bit is often building up the courage to have a go.
But what have you got to lose?
At the end of the day it is the trying that matters. Whatever the outcome (and I regularly get told some amazing stories of reconciliation) you will always know that you tried, and that is critical. Relationships are far too important to just turn your back on them and walk away, particularly family relationships and long standing friendships.
The more you try this approach (you don't need to wait for a relationship to be in trouble to give it ago) the more you will start to understand the true nature of your friendship and relationships. And don't forget telling friends why you like and appreciate them is always a good thing to do at any time and something we don't do enough of.
Best wishes and be sure to share with me how you get on.
Packtypes Self Awareness Packs available £24.99.