Week 26- Circles in the Sand
We were asked to use any down time to just be - just breathe and take in our surroundings
I have to be honest I wasn’t sure what I WAS meant to be doing this week. I think I am already a dab hand at using any waiting time to what I consider to be my advantage, queue in the post office- no problem, reply to a few texts, queue at the bank no problem- check my emails on phone, queue at the till – no problem – flick through my facebook feed. As all busy people know we have to be efficient with our time and juggle activities and to some extent isn’t that what Wake up is all about. But I think what Chris was asking us to do was not do any of this and just use that time to just be? I think this is a difficult thing to achieve as is meditation for me as a hundred and one things that I think I ought to be doing flash through my mind. Monday I failed miserably as I tried to speak to my bank about my mortgage and because I couldn’t remember my telephone banking security password they said they couldn’t help me and I had to go to the nearest bank (18 miles away) with my passport which I did and which ended being a red mist induced three quarters of an hour phone call in branch making me take a very long lunch hour! That evening I went to bed fine and woke at 1am with a severe stomach bug leaving me on the bathroom floor for most of the night I think possibly all the stress of the last few weeks coming to a head. The following day was Cai’s big birthday and I spent most of the day in bed too ill to worry about doing or not doing anything but I intend to make to up to him next week.
The next day was a little better …back in work and in my lunch hour I had to queue in the post office for two stamps for nearly 20 minutes! An old man had lost his pin number and was holding up the queue and as it was lunchtime there was only one member of staff on. I could hear people in the queue sighing and tutting and sucking in their breath, one man even rolled his eyes at me. When I walked into Boots five minutes later the same old man was there again holding up the queue, asking for something the young pharmacist had never heard of -Brylcreme. Instead of feeling angry and impatient I felt all my uptighness (is that a word?) dissipate as this old man suddenly became human to me as my dad used to use Brylcreme too for what little hair he had left . I suddenly saw life as it must be for this old man confusing with all its computers and procedures and I found myself getting involved and explaining to the young pharmacist what it was.
Yesterday I was working a 16 hour day in a polling station and there was plenty of time between voters to just be, (don’t get me started on the result- I am incredulous) we were based in a hideous damp community centre definitely in need of some modernisation, the toilet floor was covered in water and there were a few rather large lethargic flies buzzing about- the place was a damp dingy hell hole. What made it worse was that the sunshine outside was beating against the window but we were cold inside. I got to know my colleague and found out we went to the same school and as we chewed the fat we found we knew lots of the same people. In the afternoon I was having a bit of a slump after waking up at 5am, and caught myself looking at the dappled patterns that the sunlight on the leaves outside were creating on the carpet and for some reason I knew that was a moment in time that would stay with me. Sometimes that happens to me- something very ordinary happens to me and I am suddenly struck by how that will always be a memory for me of a particular time in my life. Sometimes we are so busy making a living we forget the important things, I know I do. I’ve booked a week off with my boy next week we are off for 3 days to a converted cow shed with dogs allowed. I cannot wait to make some memories on the Cardigan coast , to have some beach walks, have some ice cream, try some local food and I just hope the sun shines for us meanwhile this weekend I will pretending to be in Glastonbury with all my heart. Happy summer everyone I’ll meet you by the Pyramid stage Sunday night x