30 days of Adventure: A Quick Confidence Tip to Try Out During Your Adventurous Month
Read on for this quick confidence tip. In brief, shut up...
If you ever find yourself having difficulty in being assertive at work try this wee tip during your 30 days of adventures. It's easier than many of the others as in essence it's about not doing much at all. Try this:
Don’t say anything, simply listen.
I know it’s counter intuitive but if you are having difficulty in saying what you want to say, and being heard, my guess is that when the other person is speaking, your mind is busy thinking (or panicking) about your riposte. Which means that you are not listening to them.
Take the pressure off yourself and just decide to listen, respectfully and in silence. Don't worry about what you're going to say next.
Try not to nod too much while listening as men generally nod when they agree and women when they understand. If you are talking with a man he is likely to interpret your nodding as agreement. I suspect this is one reason why men think women talk too much. They've seen us nodding and think we agree with them when in reality we've been signally 'Yes, I understand, carry on'. When we speak up after they have finished (we tend not to interrupt either despite commonly held stereotypical views), I think men are astonished and find it hard to actually hear us when we disagree.
And when it is your turn to speak, say something like:
”Can I just check out I have understood?” and then paraphrase what they have just said to you.
This gives you thinking time and also allows them to correct any misunderstanding; it will also highlight if what has been said is unreasonable, or rude. If you don't want to answer just tell them you're come back to them later.
Happy Assertive Adventuring!
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