30 days of Adventure: A Quick Confidence Tip to Try Out During Your Adventurous Month

Read on for this quick confidence tip. In brief, shut up...

Like Comment

If you ever find yourself having difficulty in being assertive at work try this wee tip during your 30 days of adventures. It's easier than many of the others as in essence it's about not doing much at all. Try this:

Don’t say anything, simply listen.

I know it’s counter intuitive but if you are having difficulty in saying what you want to say, and being heard, my guess is that when the other person is speaking, your mind is busy thinking (or panicking) about your riposte. Which means that you are not listening to them.

Take the pressure off yourself and just decide to listen, respectfully and in silence. Don't worry about what you're going to say next.

Try not to nod too much while listening as men generally nod when they agree and women when they understand. If you are talking with a man he is likely to interpret your nodding as agreement. I suspect this is one reason why men think women talk too much. They've seen us nodding and think we agree with them when in reality we've been signally 'Yes, I understand, carry on'. When we speak up after they have finished (we tend not to interrupt either despite commonly held stereotypical views), I think men are astonished and find it hard to actually hear us when we disagree.

And when it is your turn to speak, say something like:

”Can I just check out I have understood?” and then paraphrase what they have just said to you.

This gives you thinking time and also allows them to correct any misunderstanding; it will also highlight if what has been said is unreasonable, or rude. If you don't want to answer just tell them you're come back to them later.

Happy Assertive Adventuring!

P.S. Have you heard about my one day course for women RenewYou? Check it out here. A total confidence booster!

Jane C Woods

Women's Personal Development Specialist - Changing People, -

Hi, I’m Jane C Woods and I have an absolute passion for helping women achieve success in their lives. Be it the glass ceiling, the crystal maze, or very personal issues, I’m all about helping women achieve to their full potential and live the way they want to without being carbon copies of men. But I’m not about putting men down in order for women to get ahead, there’s plenty of room; I just want the guys to shifty up a bit… If my face looks familiar it's because I love Psychologies magazine (I've been buying it since the very first issue, such a good resource) and it's the only place I choose to advertise my courses. I write on women’s issues on my blog, www.changingpeople.co.uk, and am regularly featured in magazines, and on radio, but I’m probably best known for RenewYou. RenewYou is my one day personal development course for women. We have an international network of experienced, specialist women licensed to deliver it and empower women across the globe. Our goal is to reach one million women. It’s a big goal but… In 2013 we started with a single RenewYou specialist, me. Now you can find a RenewYou Courses across the UK, in the USA, Canada, Greece, Bangkok, Pakistan, South Africa, Belgium, with new countries being added all the time. My dream was to create a thriving and caring business on ethical, and dare I say, feminine terms, with a real community spirit of help and encouragement. And it’s actually happening with the support, expertise, and enthusiasm of my wonderful trainers. I think, (apart from my two lovely kids, a daughter and a son) that it’s probably my proudest achievement to date. Wonderful Changing People Women: One of the joys and privileges of my work is that I’ve connected with some really inspirational and wonderful women – from politics to entertainment to academia. They include: TV presenter, house fixer and matchmaker Sarah Beeny Amazing entrepreneur Sam Roddick of Coco de Mer Outspoken and entertaining academic Mary Beard Politicians like Siobhan Benita and Natalie Bennett Ex BBC broadcaster Miriam O’Reilly who bravely took on the might of the BBC- and triumphed A very rare interview with Sarah Montague, of the influential BBC Radio 4 Today programme I hope you like the posts and I hope they are helpful. Live life to the max and never hide your light under any bushels!