Week 19- How was it for you?

Another week of reflection on the wake up road.

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle
May 13, 2016
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April has been and gone and with it three different experiments. The detox one- phew this was a difficult one but as I result I have switched to decaff, result I feel, guerrilla gardening was a bit of fun which I enjoyed and so did everyone else by the sound of it, and stealing back time seemed to reiterate all the little lessons I’ve been picking up and deciding to keep along the wake up journey.

As I reflect on my journey so far I honestly feel that I have finally learnt to live in the moment instead of either yearning for the past or wishing my life away. As most of us have, I have faced a few challenges in my life, including divorce, single parenting, death and loss, and redundancy fears. Sometimes we cope and sometimes we silt up with it all and we can’t. I did nearly break once but now I feel lighter and freer than I have done since my early twenties. It’s true and even when I look in the mirror and the person looking back at me looks a little worn around the edges and not as slim as I once was I choose not to focus on the ‘bad’ bits and I am aiming to be grateful for having a body that works and if I listen to it and nourish it, it will reward me. My focus has become overall more positive as I choose not to dwell on bad thoughts and worries as ultimately worrying will not change the outcome. Each day I give myself of a list of things that have to be done and when I tick something ‘horrible’ off the list I feel good about myself and reward myself with a cup of tea. This makes life a little more manageable by breaking it into chunks so that life doesn’t become overwhelming. During April I have been forging ahead to make those big decisions I made a reality too , in between the gardening, and detoxing and reflecting I've actually being decorating my new home to be, I've send off my University application form and I have an interview later on this month. I still can't quite believe I am doing it, I'm still scared but I feel happy.

I’ve also been lucky as I got to spend four days in Berlin with an old school friend last week. Four days to reflect and do exactly as we pleased. We talked, we walked, we sunbathed, we ate when we wanted to, we drank too many cocktails, we laughed, we mooched around the most fabulous market, we negotiated trains, buses, taxis and boats, we met some lovely people, we met some weird people, we listened to some live bands and we were given some flowers from a stranger to celebrate their Mother’s Day. Whilst I was there the next experiment landed in my inbox, to find a tree and climb it! What a city to be in to climb a tree. We had already commented on how Berlin had an abundance of trees and on a bus top tour we were told of how all the trees in the Tiergarten Park had to be felled following the war to be used as fuel because of the lack of coal, to keep the inhabitants warm and the space created was used to grow vegetables as food was also scarce. A few years later in an effort to replace the lost trees, more than two million small trees were planted, and it is now known as the lung of Berlin. Unfortunately, I never quite plucked up the courage to climb a tree there although we did discuss various options on our travels but I do have one at home in mind and I will let you know how I get on this weekend. This week has been a bit of a blur as I’ve had a horrible cold since I got back so it’s just been work and sleep but I know its fleeting and instead of giving myself a hard time about it I am just going with it and treating myself with kindness as I would a family member or friend. This week is just a setback on the wake up road, the tree climbing can happen alongside another week’s experiment. I’m learning living your best life is actually a state of mind and even though life is short some (snotty) days are long but a combination of cupcakes and hot honey toddies do really help cure a cold.

Happy weekend everybody.

The 'lovely people' we met Steph and the 'Ant' man from Switzerland

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle

Ffi Ffi Trixibelle

I'm a single parent of ONE lovely lanky teenager.. I live in deepest rural Wales . My 'proper' job is in marketing and events but I am also a trained reflexologist, masseur and reiki giver (go figure!) I also look after my Mum who is in her late 80's, my dog Ted, my cat Black and my hens and goldfish...my dream is to have a small holding and offer people holidays in my teepee and maybe the odd therapy ....so as you can see I am a mass of contradictions.... I like to walk, do yoga, eat salad and visit new places but I also like to drive fast, Feast ice lollies, vodka on Friday's with friends(, which leads to dancing in my kitchen) my coffee , and staying up late... I can be outgoing but also extremely shy so like the rest of you I am still trying to figure it out one day at a time...

4 Comments

Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
Mark Cuddy over 2 years ago

Your posts are always 'human' and real, I always connect with them. One thing I've learned through the challenges and the changes we are going through is not to be too hard on ourselves. We've got to keep on loving ourselves more. I think people like me and you and some others seem to have been hard on ourselves in the past but we are all waking up now. With 'wake up' I'm starting to like myself a lot more and dare I say it love myself more. There I've said it - I like this fella I am. So if I may be bold; take it easy, this is great change you are going through and at the end you will have woken up. All the best Mark

Go to the profile of Jacqui
Jacqui over 2 years ago

Lovely post and lovely photos too!

Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
Chris Baréz-Brown over 2 years ago

Agreed, super writing, very human and touching. Love the insight. C x

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle
Ffi Ffi Trixibelle over 2 years ago

Thank you, and MARK you are so right.... slowly I am learning to like me and its so great you are too, so glad I sent that email off in December who knew it would lead to these changes in us.