Shall We Dance? 5 Life lessons from the dancefloor

What can dance teach us about relationships?

Go to the profile of Dr Julie Leoni
Apr 28, 2016
6
2
Upvote 6 Comment

Partner (henceforth P) and I have started having ballroom dancing lessons in the village hall. P has danced before and won medals, (no pressure there then) but my pre-teen ballet at least means that I can count the beats and find the rhythm.

Although I love to dance, dancing with him has been a challenge and here's why:

  1. I'm not good at letting him lead
  2. I'm not good at following
  3. I'm not good at not knowing which way he is going to go or turn
  4. I worry too much about getting it right to relax
  5. I'm not good at surrendering; to him or the dance

It may just be a dance, but when I look at that list I see that these are issues that come up in my relationship with him and I also see it with friends and clients.

When you look at the list you can see that behind all 5 points is the issue of trust: trusting our partners and trusting the rhythm. of the music and more importantly, the rhythms of our life. So often we work when we are tired, we try hard when we need to relax and we control when we should let people and situations do their own thing.

So what can dance teach us that can help us trust in the music of our lives and loves more?

  1. Things will go wrong. We will tread on each others toes, bump into other people and go the wrong direction - get used to it, laugh when it happens and keep dancing
  2. The music rises and falls; some of it fast, some slow, some happy and energetic, some of it slow and sad - dance to it all, find beauty in it all and dance as the music ebbs and flows, always changing.
  3. Relax, let go, breathe; the music will carry you.
  4. Your partner can't dance without you. It's not that he is in control or that you are out of control, you are co-creating and each of you has different personalities and roles..only together is there a dance
  5. No one is watching to see if you are doing it right - they are all too worried about their own dance so focus on having fun.

Happy dancing,

Julie




Go to the profile of Dr Julie Leoni

Dr Julie Leoni

Writer, Listener, Teacher, www.julieleoni.com

I write, coach and teach women to ask for what they want, look after their own needs and empower themselves in all their relationships. I draw on experience and training in bereavement, domestic abuse, mindfulness, meditation, Transactional Analysis and other therapeutic approaches to get you loving you. I have 2 sons who I love loads (and who sometimes drive me crazy).

2 Comments

Go to the profile of Vicky Stanton
Vicky Stanton over 2 years ago

A great entertaining read Julie, with a great message.

Go to the profile of Dr Julie Leoni
Dr Julie Leoni over 2 years ago

Thank you Vicky. We did the Cha Cha Cha last night..much bumping of knees and ChaChas in the wrong direction!