Hot Chocolatey Love on Valentine's Day
"When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” - Brene Brown
Are you awake to life? Do you show up authentically, or spend precious time worrying about judgement from others? Do you crave the ability to give love and be able to receive love.
Love is at the core of who we are.
If I have observed one thing during my people watching, counselling, coaching, mentoring and teaching days, it is that we all too often rely upon the love from others before we learn to love ourselves. The number one life gift you can give your self is that you, and only you, can provide self-love.
It starts with you and you alone.
But, it’s not always easy. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our negative self-talk and start following the path of self-sabotage and listen to that repetitive voice that tells us 'I'm not good enough' or 'I'm a failure'. We can’t see our strengths, our unique traits or identify a way out. So we seek validation from others or things to help build the confidence that we may lack. These crippling insecurities that eat away at our inner core, making less space for love. However, we can all learn to talk back to this self-destructive voice and figure out how to control it, remove its power and replace it with compassion and self-love and this is the first tiny step to feeling warm and comforted, like the hot chocolate effect, the hug in a mug.
We learn about:
Daily activities to connect with you and only you.
It may feel like it’s an ongoing brain battle sometimes, especially over winter, illness, emotional upset, bereavement or hormonal hijackers, but it is worth the battle, because loving ourselves unconditionally is a life-long commitment and it’s a commitment worth having.
On Valentine's day, I would love you to join me in the simple act of self-love. Write down three things you love about yourself. By building the evidence that truly exists (but often goes unnoticed), we begin to take the first small step to soothing the negative self-talk and replacing it with self-love.
Examples could be kindness, understanding, thoughtfulness, energy, contribution, courage, softness, honesty, warmth, joy, wisdom, tenacity, resourcefulness, a great listener, entertaining, silliness, shyness, the list goes on.
Nobody is watching, nobody is reading, this is your safe space to connect with yourself and appreciate who you really are.
Start the sentence with
I love, value and accept the way I am because I'm.......
If you need a little kick start, here are some wonderful quotes from Brené Brown to remind us on the days where we’re not sending out strong love signals.
Soak them up and let them fill you with the love you need for today and every day:
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”
“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”
“What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?”
“Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow – that’s vulnerability.”
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
Happy Valentine's Day to you
With LOVE (the big Hot Chocolatey kind)