Week 13: reflections
There is nothing to lose...
There was no intense thought behind my application to join the Wake Up! bloggers, more an act of spontaneity. 2015 had been an eventful and stressful year, one in which I either continued in a state of anxiety and discontent or I took a risk and changed things. I took the risk. I had no real choice. I was at that time, in a job where I regularly slept for only two hours a night. Added to that I felt so angry at the world for putting me in the position as a carer for my elderly mother- at times it is hard, there is no getting away from it. I felt I was letting down my children, my husband and isolating myself from my friends. It was bleak...BUT I got through with the support of an amazing husband.
The first step was to hand in my notice and trust in my own abilities that I would get a job somewhere more matching to my ethos and skills. Immediately I felt better- I felt that morally I was giving my school the most time they could to find a replacement and emotionally I was practising self-care. I got the first job I applied for in a rural secondary school where I am now so happy. I started learning that sometimes you have to trust that good things can happen. I had to trust that I am a bloody hard worker in all I do and if I kept my end of the bargain there was a way that other forces can sometimes work to help me. They did. I still find caring hard, but as I am happier- and sleep more!- I have more reserves to enjoy and support all of my family and myself.
So, on this wave of trust, I applied to Wake Up! and was accepted. I knew it could only be a positive experience and entered into it with no expectations, only a sense that if I took part I wanted to commit. Here are some of what it has brought to my life:
- Self- discovery: little epiphanies that I would never have expected. Who would have known that by trying to spend 10 minutes of each morning outside I would realise how deep seated is my need for control? This prompted me to take up yoga, which has been life changing.
- A reminder that life doesn't have to be complicated: joy comes from contentment that really can be prompted by journaling, helping others, going outside...
- Surrendering a little of my life to the suggestions of others: I love the little projects, with the knowledge that they are absolutely within my own beliefs about life. In this way they do provide a Wake Up and by practising one a week, you can reflect on each, picking and choosing which to keep in your life.
- A renewed sense of creativity: they are each little creative projects to help build a more connected life away from the pressures around us.
- Community: the sense that many of us are sharing these adventures.
My conclusion so far? These experiments are reminders of simple wisdoms that really can reconnect us with what it is to embrace life. The impact is felt by the individual, but also those around them. Really, what is there to lose?