Just let it all out
I will Journal my thoughts everyday........
Well first things first. My alarm goes off before the crack of dawn. As I fumble around searching for a (vaguely) matching pair of socks I barely have time to think never mind record my morning thoughts and banalities. I do however manage to scramble together a hot mug of coffee, a somewhat vital and unwavering part of my daily morning routine. Wouldn’t it be nice to sit down with my cup, take 5 minutes to myself and write? At least then I could avoid the coffee flavored toothpaste.
Morning one I overslept. There was simply no time to externalize my mood nor time for a morning cuppa and so I had to compromise with an evening summary instead. Pen in hand I ungracefully spurted out something that had been niggling away at me for a few days. It didn’t matter if what I wrote was fact or fiction, exaggerated or insightful or even if it made any sense whatsoever because once I had finished frantically scribbling down my illegible rantings I ripped it into tiny pieces and threw it into the rubbish discarding any concern for its contents and the drama it entrusted . Yes I had fallen into the clichéd trap of writing your worries away, but it felt great! It is indeed liberating to vent and extra glory was gained for having not hurt anyone in the process.
Day two allowed time for my morning coffee. I felt fresh and eager to explore my inner poet but all I could think about was coffee and how much I enjoyed its comforting routine in my life. And so I wrote an ode to coffee! I thanked it for its senses arousing presence and for its humble, unwavering friendship. I apologized for ever doubting it, for previously attempting to ban it and for the times I have either abused or undervalued it (yes, I too questioned my sanity at this point but decided that the ungodly hour was to blame - that and the full moon). Just five minutes was enough to let me write freely before my ego or any narcissism came into play or for any botheration to kick in. It was at this point I realized the beauty of capturing just the right time of day for your creativity to flourish with writing and my ability to be completely conscious without distraction.
The next two days followed in a similar playful manner. I found that the morning gave no thought to any deep insights or musings but encouraged the freedom to be childlike, to dream and to play. The evenings however give way for much more personal reflection and reverie and it is then I experienced insights, highlighted insecurities and calmed my anxieties. Either way journalling is liberating. Maybe its the feeling of sharing secrets that liberates us. As an avid notebook hoarder I struggle to throw any away, hoping one day to look back on the past to which I hear the critics shout if the day comes when you have nothing better to do than look back on your lives doodling then you have lost all sense of the present. Maybe its best to bury some thoughts after all.
If I choose to practice creative writing, a story or an idea, the morning is certainly the time to do it but I think with journalling as a personal commitment I will listen to my natural senses, unrestrictive of time, space or reasoning . And thats the beauty of free writing, you do not need a schedule or an allocated time and neither do you require a reason. It can be as spontaneous as you like but the gratification is instant and more powerful than words can describe. My little mobile sanctuary found within scribblings.
I may not continue to write every morning but I will put pen to paper at least once a day, doing so when the mood takes me and hoping to learn something along the way.