Why are we addicted to doing?

For many of us we don't know we're in overwhelm until that moment where something happens that forces us to stop and take note. So why is it we just keep adding to our to do lists? The truth is we're getting something from it.

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Why would anyone just keep adding to their to do list?

Surely the satisfaction arrives when the list feels complete but for many of us the list just keeps growing.

As a recovering A type, I can tell you how easy it is to get caught up in the doing of life. That feeling of being on a journey that never seems like you're actually getting somewhere and all the frustration that accompanies you on it.

The truth is a lot of people are fooling themselves by being busy with things that don't really matter. In work we spend hours in meetings that have no clarity of focus, doing social media that has no clear strategy behind it, jumping to every email we receive and never really transforming anything. At home we distract ourselves in shopping, socialising and chores which never really give us a feeling of being complete.

What are we avoiding in those moments?

We're avoiding the empty space. We're avoiding diving deep into our purpose. We think that by being busy we're actually being purposeful but it's an illusion. We're stuffing our lives and are scared to declutter because we don't know what we'll find. So instead of pausing, we keep going. We don't allow ourselves to feel into our emotions and act as if the status quo is what we want. We trade going within and finding our own answers for being responsible for everyone else's life.

But the truth is we're human beings not human doings. We are here to be our authentic, most alive and expressed selves. It's uncomfortable to ask deep searching questions of ourselves, so instead we hopscotch through our lives, jumping from one task to the next, one job to the next and we create the same circumstances wherever we go because we can't escape ourselves.

If you fill your life with doing and have that feeling inside that you're not quite being your potential ....

Try this ...

1. Take your list and ask this question to each task, "When I complete this task, what will this give me?" If the result isn't significant or doesn't light you up question whether it really needs to be on the list.

2. Get comfortable with asking yourself two questions, "For the sake of what am I doing this?" and "What's really important about this?" The answers might surprise you :-)

You see we're creatures of habit and our lists will run us if we don't get above the small details and doing and get strategic and purposeful in our lives.

Vanessa Anstee

Life Coach

I'm inspired by who you can be without apology and I want to help you let your real self shine. I've been a life coach for 10 years. I've always been a seeker trying to discover a way of being in life that feels soulful, authentic and aligned to what my heart wants not what my head thinks I should have, be or do. I spent 20+ year career in HR, OD, talent management and executive coaching. My kids were my biggest wake up. I saw the way I was working wasn't working anymore. I couldn't keep pushing myself harder. I had to accept I couldn't attain this perfected version of myself that I had strived most of my life to achieve. I had to find love not from accolades and other people's acceptance but from deep inside me. That's when I learnt to connect to my heart, heal my childhood wounds and fears of never being enough and set light to my passion in a completely new way. I want one thing for my clients. Be real. Be themselves, fall madly in love with that person and honour their soul's calling.