Keeping a journal
Can a journal really help us to listen??
I was actually surprised how much I enjoyed this challenge! I battled with time commitments obviously……… Finding the time to write a journal was always going to be challenging, especially with a baby that is teething; the joys of a wonderful teenager that wants to actually talk to his Mum (I realise how lucky I truly am) and a daughter who already believes Mummy is too busy/ tired/ all of the above to talk.
The first challenge was to find some routine, a time in the day that I could write because I felt this was the best way to manage this week- long challenge. Swiftly followed by my deciding not to try and fit it into a routine. Trying to find the right time everyday was impossible and after two days I realised that it was actually more challenging trying to stick to the same time everyday. My need for order had actually begun to affect my challenge. It was out of routine for me but I actually decided to throw caution to the wind and agree to write when I could.
This required a great deal of commitment.
It is so easy to decide you cannot fit something new into your life before seeing the benefits. I am just so glad that I stuck at it. Because after day two, I could see the benefits to me.
I felt better. Purposeful. Clearer almost. Now much of this depended on what I wrote and most occasions I started out writing an interesting stream of nonsense. Which soon turned into a tangled web of interesting, quirky, downright funny, challenging, sentimental and goal- driven thoughts among other things.
Space. Time and space. This was the most beneficial part of the exercise. Both time and space are very sparse at the moment for myself. Trying to think clearly in the hum- drum of family life/ new baby/ busy husband/ busy children is near impossible. But. This journal has helped me to sort my thoughts and ideas. I was and am able to identify that finding a small amount of time for myself is a resource I absolutely must create in my life. Not doing a class. Not doing yoga. Not going for a walk or out with friends. Just sitting by myself and thinking about the things that impact or affect me. Thinking about me. There I said it.
I finally know what my long- term goals are and how I am going to get there. When I realised this I was sitting in my kitchen at midnight writing my journal. Everyone was in bed and I was miraculously not my usual sleep- deprived, miserable mother. I was alert, interested and feeling positive about this realisation. Having that space to write my journal had affected me in a profound way. I know what I want to do. I know how I want to live. I know so much more about myself. And there is so much more to learn.
Needless to say I will stick at this journal writing. I won’t pressure myself to do it everyday at a certain time but I will take the opportunities where I find them to write. Write about anything I like. What a joy this task was!