Is fear holding you back?

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I have been reflecting of late on the way that fear can create prisons for us, stopping us from doing things. It can prevent us from being open with other people and, at its extreme, stop us from finding enjoyment in our lives.

Often, part of the work clients do in therapy is to explore what it is that is stopping them from doing things they want to do, or being how they want to be. Once the feelings and thoughts that are getting in the way are openly acknowledged, they can begin to be explored. In this process, their hold begins to loosen, and we can move past them. It strikes me that this is what courage is, feeling fear and being with fearful thoughts, and moving forwards anyway.

I notice that one place that being courageous can be really tough is in relationships. Steve Gilligan's beautiful book 'The Courage to Love' explores this, and challenges the reader to be open hearted. He talks about the need to openly relate to ourselves, extending love and trust inwards, and seeing clearly. This open heartedness means that we can have courage; a willingness to be with whatever is true for us and to act from a grounded perspective.

Lao Tzu said:

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength While loving someone deeply gives you courage"

The first step I believe is to deeply love yourself, and to acknowledge the strength and the courage that this brings. Once this is in place, fear becomes so much less compelling and the joy of life can once more begin to be felt.

If you want to explore how you show up in relationship, or how fears are hemming you in, get in touch

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Hi. I'm Fe, and I'm here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I believe every client is unique, I work with you to help you explore, discover and grow in whatever ways are right for you. I work with a wide range of clients, both long and short term. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to UK clients online and in Gainford, Co.Durham in North-East England. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists online and in person. Following a career in Organisation Development I became a therapist because it's my heart work. Before having my family and starting my private practice I worked in the NHS and mental health charities.