The Secret To Finding Your Cool Factor

​I’ve discovered the secret behind being really cool and I want to share the bottom line of it with you in this blog. Why? Because I AM COOL, you know, the kind of cool that's also a bit goofy, very silly and not afraid to laugh at herself. Keep reading to find out how you can be COOL too… just like me! (Insert sarcastic tone) PS: It has nothing to do with wearing big sunglasses and getting VIP tables...

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Hey I'm Lydia Kimmerling, I have been shortlisted as Psychologies and Hay House's fresh new voice for 2016 and you can help me win by supporting this blog and clicking "VOTE UP" above.


For a long time, I chased ‘cool’ and it didn’t do me any favours. I always wanted to hang out with the cool kids at school, I was really concerned with what I wore, where I went and who I was seen with, right up until my mid twenties.

The moment I decided to let go of cool was the day life became more FUN.

The reason cool has such a pull is because it hides the FEAR of “Am I good enough?” It protects us from putting ourselves out there, from making mistakes and showing the real ‘ME’.

Note: MISTAKES… What the hell? Why do we get so wrapped up in “What if I make a mistake?”. Hulloooo… has anyone actually looked at the word mistake. It was a mis-take, so you get to retake it with the experience of what to do better. No biggy, it’s not the end of the world…just,TAKE TWO!

It’s a bit like when you’re a kid at a party and you get the chance to be the Magician’s assistant, everyone’s hand flies up at the opportunity and the kid who actually has the 5 mins of fame has the time of their life, leaving feeling like they achieved something. As an adult, when metaphorically speaking we get the Magician’s assistant opportunities, we go through a whole pile of mental crap first, “I can’t do it, what if I make a tit of myself, it looks fun though, no don’t be silly, see if someone else puts their hand up first, if not then you go, what if I do something wrong, ok I’ll do it… hand up…. Oh no someone beat me to it” and then we miss the opportunity and feel regretful because we know we did ourselves a disservice worrying about “Am I good enough?”

The ‘Magician’s assistant’ we aspire to (the one we think is cool) is the one who jumps up to grab the opportunity first, seems completely comfortable in their own skin, embraces their vulnerability and enjoys the moment for what it is. In a situation that pulls them out of their comfort zone with no time to prep or worry, they realise they can only bring themselves and being themselves is always enough.

How many more moments in a day would you enjoy if you completely let go? How much more would you get from life if you knew you were always enough?

This is my own personal calculation.

Be yourself + Love your uniqueness + Embrace your vulnerability = Being cool (you are enough)

So next time that moment comes along where you could have fun and feel like you’ve achieved something like;

  • Letting loose on the dance floor
  • Asking someone out on a date
  • Putting yourself forward for a project at work
  • Delivering a talk in front of an audience

Remember the cool calculation and you will always be enough.

If this fails (although I guarantee it won’t) just buy a massive pair of sunglasses. This normally works.

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Lydia Kimmerling

Life Coach, Spiritual Teacher, Speaker, The Happiness Explorer

Hey, I'm Lydia Kimmerling I am MAD, CRAZY, PASSIONATE about helping you to create a life you're super excited to wake up to. Being happy...ish, inspired...ish and fulfilled...ish is never quite enough, is it? When you feel like there is "more" out there for you, it's because there is. A life where you can't remember the last time you worried, stressed or doubted yourself and your friends ask you "What's your secret?" because you GLOW, SPARKLE and SHINE. That can be you and I will show you how. I got my first television job at 17, ran my own restaurant in Panama at 22, taught Hip Hop in Cornwall at 26, was cabin crew for Virgin Atlantic at 28, coached CEO's on confidence at 29, then at 30 took the leap as a certified life & business coach with The International Coaching Federation to launch my very own transformational company called The Happiness Explorer. I am a master of change, so I can tell you that there is NEVER really anything to fear, but has it always been easy? NO! I have blocks, down days and self-doubt too, life doesn't stop throwing you curve balls, it's how you catch the ball and throw it back that changes. Plus, you never know until you try, right? At 32, I now know what the key is to waking up every single day excited about the life you live. It is to know yourself inside and out and to love every part of who you are.The more you know yourself, the more of you there is to love and the more you love yourself, the more you want to give yourself a life you love. The question is…What do you really want?


Go to the profile of Peets Olivia
almost 6 years ago
Yes! LOVE love love this article. Thank you Lydia for remind me how cool I am!
Go to the profile of Melchior Arnold
almost 6 years ago
You are cool!
Go to the profile of Lydia Kimmerling
almost 6 years ago
Love you guys!! There's so much coolness coming out of Ibiza we may just freeze... god that's a really bad joke. Sunday morning and all that x
Go to the profile of Amber Burns
almost 6 years ago
💓 well done xx