​Hello…. anyone there…?

Week 9: Free Writing - I will journal my thoughts every day.

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Oh, oh there’s a thought…nope… its gone. Ahhh… there’s another, quickly catch it. Hmm, ignore that one, just an itchy toe. This is not going well. Every time I sit and try to capture the thoughts running through my head I come up blank. The only thing that I can hear clearly is an annoying repetitive refrain saying ‘What am I thinking, what am I thinking?’ at an increasingly frenetic pace.

Now this challenge is over, I have to say that I am slightly annoyed at myself. Looking back, I can see that I approached this challenge in a slightly negative manner, I just ‘knew’ it wouldn’t work for me and so after the first few days of nothing I kind of gave up on it. Nothing like a self-fulfilling prophesy, heh? So… BIG FAIL on my part.

Thinking about what I would write today, I realised I had to questions the ‘why’. Why didn’t it work? Why didn’t I even want to give it a chance? I mean looking at the first challenge, telling someone why you love them, I so definitely did not want to do that, let alone four times… but I did and I got a great result out of it. I might not have initially seen the point of some of the other challenges but again, I gave them my all and again, I learnt something about myself or about the way I want to be moving forward. But this one... I barely made it past the starting block.

It’s definitely not that I have lost my ‘Wake Up’ mojo as I am really getting a lot out of doing these challenges and equally as important, I’m enjoying it in the process. It's also not that I don't like being reflective and thinking about things as I can happily spend an hour or two (often a lot more) over-analysing any topic or given situation. Maybe it’s the same reason I hate meditative yoga sessions, after all the deep breathing comes the silence and the inward looking and I just get really uncomfortable and fidgety.

One to ponder and work on I think.



I currently live in London but having been born in Canada, lived in Nigeria until my early teens and schooled in Scotland, if you ask me where I am from, I will struggle for a quick answer. I am an excellent self-saboteur and use humour and a practiced laissez-faire attitude as a shield to having to address difficult situations properly. The ‘Great Wake Up’ is me, finally trying to step clear of my overdeveloped protective mechanisms, and to start to interact as closely and honestly to life around me and enjoy myself whilst doing so.


Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
over 5 years ago
I don't think you failed the challenge at all. Not all the challenges will work on everyone. The fact that you struggled to write anything down is in some ways a positive experience because you revealed something about yourself to yourself. I struggled with Stuffocation but time as shown me that it did have a massive effect on me because I still haven't bought myself anything apart from a garlic presser to replace the one that died on me from over using it. I've turned a corner with materialism and its because of the experiment which at the time I struggled with. I think you should take this challenge easy and do it on a random day at a random time and see if that helps. I don't know if this helps. Take it easy. Mark (part of your 'wake up' family). Thanks for sharing your experience with everyone.
Go to the profile of Donna Etiebet
over 5 years ago
I've always wanted to try this. Isn't one of the techniques is setting out to fill up a page and doesn't matter how you start or right about just see where it takes you? Happy to try this out together...we can share notes haha!
Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
over 5 years ago
Echoing the thoughts above, each task won't "do the trick" for everyone, it's about what works for you. Keep it going. Big love, C x