Hello…. anyone there…?
Week 9: Free Writing - I will journal my thoughts every day.
Oh, oh there’s a thought…nope… its gone. Ahhh… there’s another, quickly catch it. Hmm, ignore that one, just an itchy toe. This is not going well. Every time I sit and try to capture the thoughts running through my head I come up blank. The only thing that I can hear clearly is an annoying repetitive refrain saying ‘What am I thinking, what am I thinking?’ at an increasingly frenetic pace.
Now this challenge is over, I have to say that I am slightly annoyed at myself. Looking back, I can see that I approached this challenge in a slightly negative manner, I just ‘knew’ it wouldn’t work for me and so after the first few days of nothing I kind of gave up on it. Nothing like a self-fulfilling prophesy, heh? So… BIG FAIL on my part.
Thinking about what I would write today, I realised I had to questions the ‘why’. Why didn’t it work? Why didn’t I even want to give it a chance? I mean looking at the first challenge, telling someone why you love them, I so definitely did not want to do that, let alone four times… but I did and I got a great result out of it. I might not have initially seen the point of some of the other challenges but again, I gave them my all and again, I learnt something about myself or about the way I want to be moving forward. But this one... I barely made it past the starting block.
It’s definitely not that I have lost my ‘Wake Up’ mojo as I am really getting a lot out of doing these challenges and equally as important, I’m enjoying it in the process. It's also not that I don't like being reflective and thinking about things as I can happily spend an hour or two (often a lot more) over-analysing any topic or given situation. Maybe it’s the same reason I hate meditative yoga sessions, after all the deep breathing comes the silence and the inward looking and I just get really uncomfortable and fidgety.
One to ponder and work on I think.