At the beginning of this year I made the intention to heal in every aspect of my life. I believe I am doing my best to heal from past attachments, family/friends and "situations-ships" that no longer serve any purpose, that no longer sit well within me needed to be uprooted so I could heal and bloom. I look back to the first six months of the year and some progress has been made.
I did not sit idly by daydreaming and hoping for healing and for things to change. I took action and then prayed for what I felt my heart, mind and body required for healing. It wasn’t all rosy, the rough days were brutal but I had hope for better and brighter days. Spring sprung, along came the month of Mercy (Ramadan) which gifted me with much needed spiritual healing.
My July brought summer feelings and airy laughters. I felt confident in my skin and bloated or not I dressed accordingly to my mood. My smile stayed and mirrored the smiles of those around me. I accepted love , grace and prayed for those who left. I believe that the people who are meant to be in my life will make efforts to stay and those who have already served their purpose would leave and that is OK. As for those who gravitate back into my life, there will be a window on latch and perhaps the door might open again. However, that does not mean I would give second and third chances where none is deserved. I forgive but I do not forget, my memories are not selective. They remind me of setting healthy boundaries, my worth and that I am enough. My birthday this year felt empty and drained, due to some unforeseen circumstances. I received an urgent phone call from one of my siblings and I went to be by their side. Sibling love and support is important to me and I knew my presence would bring some kind of ease. I ended up attending a motivational evening and met one of my favourite Islamic scholars. Although the trip to my sibling was unplanned, I somehow felt like the Creator knew how much I too needed to be supported, inspired and motivated during my short trip. I enjoyed the warm weather, explored new parts of the city while being there for my sibling. I managed to visit Manchester briefly. There is never a dull moment for me over there. Despite the many changes in the city, I always feel at home and safe being back.
I was able to connect with my "framily" and met new people. A part of me wanted to stay but there is nothing tangible to stay for and I also reminded myself of the many reasons why I left, bittersweet memories. I believe I am where I am supposed to be. I am grateful for perspective, growth and acceptance. Although some of my goals have not yet been achieved, I am content with the pace and the direction in which life is unfolding. May the rest of the year be wonderful and exciting as I look forward to colourful autumn and it’s cooler days.
Good vibes and light,