Why I Hate Marketing

​I don’t know you yet.

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I don’t know you yet.

In order to market to you I have to make assumptions which is something I have trained myself out of to a large degree. When I assume you are this or that, I make a judgement about you and if I am judging you, then it goes without saying you are free to judge me right back.

Having not reached ninja levels of not-giving-a-shit yet; this makes me uncomfortable.

It’s just safer if neither of us assume, ok? But am I sick to death of safe and comfortable? Yes I am. Will I die if you judge me and more importantly – get me wrong? No. How on earth do I expect to make widely available the brilliant stuff I am creating and offering if I refuse to market it properly? Indeed. Who knew promotion involved such soul-searching?

Yesterday I got stuck in effort-full, contracted discomfort where I felt I was trying to push the river upstream. I was going by the book and doing all the tasks that are recommended when promoting an event, distributing brilliant copy, calling people, emailing people, following up, social media stuff – but all of it felt horrible. I know that this mode of operating – from a place of fear and tension – only brings more of the same, people who are stuck, hard work, anxious, tightly wound and unsure. But listening to one’s own advice and acting on it takes nerves of steel. There comes a point when you just know that what you are doing isn’t working and no matter which order you put the words in or how determinedly you stand up and do a power pose before that phone call – it’s not going to work and you need to stop. As if I needed more clarification that I was on the wrong track, I over-ran the bath and flooded the bathroom. Ah joy.

So I stopped.

I watched Spiderman with my son, I decided I would do nothing – yes, nothing the next day to promote my event that did not feel exciting, fun, light and easy. Then I got an early night and I had a lie-in. In that wonderfully relaxed place between asleep and awake it became clear to me that I was missing the whole point of marketing. I have something of real value that will help people in an enjoyable way. I love what I am creating, it’s unique.

I forgot this temporarily and it became about contracts and tickets and stress. If you want any of the usual methods to work you absolutely must be able to maintain and translate what you LOVE about what you are promoting.

When I tell you how much I love something, all the great things about it, how it makes me feel and all the ways I am better because of it – if I am genuine – you will light up, as I do because that’s how humans work. When we are in a normal, relaxed state and see someone illuminated by their passion, we respond in kind, we empathise, we mirror, we get into rapport and it feels good. There’s no judging happening, no assumptions – in fact much of the intellectual processing is bypassed as we get into the limbic system which controls our senses and emotions. We experience to some degree what they are describing.

Hilariously, this is the whole premise of Positive Living – that we each commit to finding that which lights us up and do it wholeheartedly, enjoying every second and thus have a massive positive impact, by osmosis, on the community at large. It feels a little silly but I am not afraid to admit that I have sometimes been afraid to be so lit up, so alive in my enjoyment that it is palpable. It’s a masterpiece in progress and I believe you are too which is why I’m going to tell you something.

The event I’ve been referring to above is called What About You and I’m hosting the presenter of it – Jamie Catto. Why? I went to Jamie Catto’s training in September 2014 and it changed me. The timing was curious – it was 2 weeks before the launch of Positive Living, a night that still reverberates as one of the most electrifying and powerful experiences I’ve had whilst sober. Something in the training experience made me became courageous enough to recognize my own power and to know that exposing my vulnerability was not a foolish or harmful thing but actually the key to my own strength. The main reason I want people to come to this event is because I want them to experience the astonishing relief I felt a day or two after, the relief of finally releasing old stories, habits and ways of being that hurt me. I was left with an absolute joy at the possibility of it all, marvelling at how I get to create my own reality and the realisation that I am not beholden to anyone else’s ideas of how it should look, feel or be. It’s me. I’m responsible and I can create whatever feels good to me. And I did and I continue to do so.

why i hate marketing positive living uk

The above account of yesterday’s struggles goes to show that no matter how well adjusted, how much yoga, how dedicated you are to your own clarity – every single person needs a reminder at various points to counteract the multi-layered conditioning we receive on a daily basis from the second we’re born. We need reminding how perfect, how capable and how free we are, if we choose to be. I know this will help you, whatever phase you’re in right now.

So this is my marketing and I love it and this is why I want you to come.


Jemima House

Coach, Writer & Yogini , Jemima House Coaching

The Connection Coach - I help women become wonderful connectors so they can attract the relationships they desire. I do this through 1:1 coaching and in-person events. I'm an expert at creating the conditions for change using my 20+ years of practice, experience and facilitation in mind/body mastery.


Go to the profile of Lydia Kimmerling
over 5 years ago
Completely understand Jemima. When I first started my business I did so much pushing up stream and couldn't understand why things weren't happening in response to so much hard work. But it was exactly that reason, pushing. Everything I Do now is with joy and a lightness and everything comes easy. A good reminder. Thank you