I don't know. Three little words with a profound impact. Sometimes, a phrase that can cause a great deal of anxiety. What does it mean not to know? Is it exciting? Does it mean there are many possibilities? Does it evoke fear? Does it indicate inadequacy?
There are two powerful questions* that can be used to discover more of our experience when we don't know yet. They are:
- And what kind of ... ?
- And is there anything else about ... ?
These questions deliberately start with And, they honour what is currently known and experienced, and seek to add to it. They assume nothing, they just hold attention where it is and seek more information.
We don't always discover more by moving our focus away from what we are experiencing. Google can not always answer our questions. Sometimes the most important enquiries are those that help us to know what we are experiencing right here, right now, more deeply.
So when you feel stumped, or feel in the dark, when you simply do not know yet, ask yourself, what kind of stumped? Is there anything else about feel in the dark? If you stay where you are, what else is there to discover? And knowing that, what would you like to have happen?
To explore further the way you are experiencing life, and to move towards what you would like, why not find a psychotherapist who feels a good fit for your needs?
*These two questions come from the symbolic modelling process articulated by James Lawley and Penny Tompkins based on the work of David Groves. I owe them my deep gratitude for their insight and teaching.
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