Share the Love

Half way through- it feels good.

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Half way through experiment 1, Sharing the Love and I can already feel a shift in my perceptions. Before uttering a word, the process of thinking about and clarifying what you love about someone is powerful. So, the challenge…

  • My husband. I was nervous about this. We have been together since we were 19 years old: where once we were reckless festival goers, now we are practical and oh so sensible. We haven’t talked about our feelings for each other for a while- just no time apparently. Falling asleep to ‘The Good Wife’ on the computer after work and family doesn’t leave too much time for depth of conversation! So, after putting it off for one day I told him. We sat on the bed, there were no distractions. I had thought about what I wanted to say and in my nerves it did come out a bit ‘list like’ but it felt good. I was aware that I was fearful of his reaction – would he be embarrassed? Believe me? Think I was being pretentious? But no, it went well and it did us both good. We laughed. Importantly, it feels like the start of something, not a one off event, but rather a loosening, a noticing.
  • My friend: I was less nervous as I was so aware of the feelings of warmth I had since talking to Simon. We met in a café, my son playing on his DS. She was tired and emotional, so I was concerned that my words should support her, not just allow me to continue this experiment. The words came easily, but I was still nervous of her reaction. She thanked me, she smiled and she seemed to relax. We didn’t make a big deal of it, rather it steered the conversation onto a more personal route. Again, we laughed. It was lovely and easy. On a personal level, I feel my shoulders slightly lower, the sense that noticing the love and vocalising it where you can, has such a positive impact on everyone. I hope my words helped her and I know that they have energised me.

Halfway through and there is an internal momentum to this experiment…and it feels profound.


Mother, wife, daughter, teacher...

Firmly stuck in the 'sandwich generation' category, I am 46 years old and looking to shake things up a bit! I am a teacher, which I love - but it takes over your life! A mother of three - two daughters, 16 and 15, a son aged 11. Wife to Simon for 19 years. Carer for rather eccentric mum, aged 89.


Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
about 6 years ago
Amazing start! Love the fact that it brought giggles all round. Joy and love in one hit! Brilliant. Chris x
Go to the profile of Dee Ruddock
about 6 years ago
I love this description of your experiment, Jacqui! A fantastic writing style that makes me feel like I am there with you :)
Go to the profile of Jacqui
about 6 years ago
Thank you Dee, I really appreciate this support.