Some of the signs i have come across with clients in toxic relationships is that they start to lose themselves; forget themselves and their happiness is no longer a priority. This can be hard to view when one has invested so much time and effort. A level of honesty is needed in the self to realise and admit when a relationship has run its course as its often difficult to conceptualise life without your partner. Unhealthy criticism of the other can be a contributing factor on why individuals feel they are undervalued and worthless and this contempt can create unhealthy patterns in the relationship. This can lead to resentment and acting out.
I often encourage my clients to get in touch with how they are feeling about their relationships and if they are feeling mentally, physically and emotionally drained because these can be indicators that the reprieve of stress one expects from our partners is not present.
The relationship should only make one a better version of the self. If the cycle of your relationship is disjointed then you are both not on the same page. Surrounding yourself with positive friends can be a supportive way to get over the toxicity of what one has been exposed to. Talking therapy allows individuals to get to know themselves and their self-worth. Stepping away from a toxic relationship is about detoxing yourself from the beliefs and values that were created together and therapy can remind you on the importance of the self. Time and distance plays a part in the healing process and self compassion is key to ensuring one can survive the challenges on leaving this type of relationship.
Psychotherapist - MSc Psych, PTSTA (P), CTA (P), UKCP, MBACP
Clinical Supervisor, Coach, Counsellor