Stop! Look! And Most of All Listen!

It’s resolution time. Creating personal rules that I might want to break.

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It’s January 2019, can you believe it? Where did 2018 go?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always tried to have a positive outlook on life and have been lucky enough to live on this planet quite a long time, travelled, and gleaned many experiential moments, memories, desires and fears along the way.  It doesn’t matter how old we age, there is always something new to learn.

Today, I am talking resolutions. 

When I was a teen, everyone would say ‘Make a resolution! It’s a new year, a time for improving the self.’

When I was a young adult, peers would say ‘Make a resolution! It’s the new year, a time for improving the self.’

Even as an adult in my twenties the same old saying would roll over. The saying to me sounded like a tradition, rather than the resolution.

In truth I didn’t need anyone to tell me to make a resolution, because every year I was always trying to be my better self, but as with many resolutions and goals, there are deviations, life gets in the way and sometimes I didn’t even know what my better self could look like. I would often look in the mirror and ask myself, am I being true to me?

Alongside the traditional nattering of setting goals, there were also many negative voices that I would hear too, ‘you won’t stick to it’, and ‘resolutions are easily broken,’ ‘why create a resolution when there are enough rules to abide by every day?’

From what I recall from a recent reflective journaling exercise, I’ve always been a goal setter, intending positive results, but somewhere deep in my subconscious the negative voices had wriggled their way into my mind, and taught me to somehow believe rules that I make for myself are often rules that I might wish to break.

Quite the revelation.

In trying to do what I believe is right versus listening to the voices of old telling me I will likely fail anyway, became something that I might choose to categorise as a quest in 2018. Through the Art of Reflective Journaling and challenging the true me, on occasions I was surprised, and I’ve had to be resilient through the process. I’ve spent my whole life being happy in caring for others, I had never really asked myself, who is the true me?

In 2019 I’m going to have to be brave and have courage, I won’t be faking it until I make it, because that again would not be the true me. This year my resolution is to simply be my true self, which may sound simple, but there are many challenges set within a life or rules, expectation, diversity and choices. I have absolutely no idea where being me will take me this year. It will be quite the adventure. 

I will set myself rules and targets in 2019 that I might possibly want to break, but my true self is very disciplined and will hope to choose to over-ride these desires to fail. I intend to be positive and when I’m positive I have the most amazing feeling of contentment and happiness, how about you?

This year I have a mantra: 

Stop! Look! And most of all Listen! To the body, mind and soul, then choose.

If you like to make resolutions, I wish you so much luck and positive outcomes.

If you don’t like resolutions, I still wish you many positive choices in 2019.


Take care of you.

Julie Spencer

Ambassador and Learning Support Assistant, Psychologies Magazine

Proud Ambassador for Psychologies Magazine. The magazine encapsulates many of my core values: being kind, have compassion, look after your health and wellbeing, be professional and be supportive of others. A little self belief can go a long way. I have studied as a mature student. I went into a writing frenzy and spent 3 years writing in solitude. I was a stay at home mum, too. What I learned: being alone for long periods of time is bad for your health and wellbeing. Thanks to a little nudge from Psychologies Magazine I am reconnecting and rebuilding my C.V. I'm a creative. I have lots of ideas and I need to constantly realign my focus onto one project at a time. Until recently I had a real fear for public speaking, but after reading a book that suggested I acknowledge my fears and challenge them anyway; with the support of the Psychologies community and more I'm working through my fears one blog at a time.