I'm in quite a few groups on social media, but a reoccurring theme has arisen over the last few days.
It's a feeling I'm familiar with and I'm sure you are too.
Perhaps you are feeling like a failure that you haven't achieve what you "should" have in life.
Perhaps you feel stuck, in life, in your job, you want a way out but don't know where to turn?
Perhaps you have lots of ideas but really don't know which one to pursue, or even where to start?
All you hear when you listen to your inner critic is;
I'm too tired, I'm a failure, I'm confused, I'm overwhelmed, I'm not capable, I can't, I daren't, I don't know.
Then there are the well meaning friends, family, colleagues who say stick at this, it will change - yet this is a feeling inside that you cannot describe in anyway to anyone else, because it will be unique to you.
But what if there is a way?
What if you can take control of your life and reconnect?
What if you could do this in simple easy steps?
Having been through something similar here is my advice;
The first thing you have to do is rediscover you. As I mentioned in some of my previous blogs, we end up wearing a mask and when the mask falls for whatever reason, we can often feel naked, exposed and not know which way to go.
It's scary isn't it. In fact it can be terrifying, exhilarating and exhausting all at once. It can also trap you in a perpetual loop of not knowing where to turn a bit like a rabbit trapped in the headlights of a car.
This is why your own rediscovery is essential, because until you figure out you, then you can't move forward and make goals, plan your life, let go, create your new future.
So I have some questions for you?
Do you love you?
Do you know and I mean really know your strengths? your areas for growth? your passion?
When was the last time you felt excited? When was the last time you felt energised?
Are you really and I mean really ready to create a new life?
Then it's time for you to take control, to take power. You will still sometimes want to curl up in your hermit shell, but hey, that's OK.
What I want you to do is to take the first step and I want you to commit to doing it today.
Now if you think you might struggle to do this on your own have you got a good friend who will be honest with you who can help you on your journey. Or can you find a "buddy" to hold you accountable. If you're blessed to be in a position to get a coach then look at finding a coach perfect for you (and when I say perfect for you - remember the coach is working for you, interview them, check if they are speaking your language, ensure there soul purpose is to help you to shine. If they push for a hard sell and this feels uncomfortable don't go with them, if you have any doubt at all, don't go with them. You will find the coach perfect for you but it may take some time. Read their blogs, their testimonials. Ensure it feels RIGHT) or join a support group. Whatever resonates with you because also not everyone suits having a coach.
For some of you this is a journey you need to do alone, or perhaps start alone and then link up with others, or end alone. You will find the right way.
Right throughout my journey of self-discovery no one really explained the importance of this to me and I can honestly say having coaches was not right for me at that time, but I did want someone to point me in the right direction of resources. But I didn't know where to look. Psychologies did help in that way and the fact I'd already planned my training in Myers Briggs and NLP, but it was still 18 months before I figured out who I was i.e. my mind and soul and then the last 6 months have been about reconnecting with my body.
So here are some simple steps to get you going;
step 1 - start journalling - start with daily gratitude, then increase do daily learnings, then free write - don't worry if you miss a day. This is great for reconnecting with your inner voice, your inner wise woman.
Step 2 - self -discovery - personality types can help you here whether its Myers Briggs, DISC, or many of the others out there find the one for you. many are free to do on line, but a word of warning - take your time - when we do these online quizzes they often can only tell you about the mask you are wearing, perhaps read through the different personalities and feel which fits best instead.
Step 3 - explore - find yourself - what did you love as a child? Do you love it now? Do a pinterest board or a vision board, cut out images from magazines, sort them into categories - do you notice any themes? What is your unconscious mind telling you?
Step 4 - let go of negativity, find gratitude even in the not so great things in life. This will take practice, but it's about changing your mindset from focusing on the negatives and focusing on the positives. You will get there.
Step 5 - Find out where you gain energy and where energy drains you, do an energy audit of your friends, your life, your tasks and familiarise yourself with your comfort zone. We constantly get told to push out of it, yet what we truly need to do is expand it.
Step 6 - try things - Joni a night class, go on a weekend retreat, do this now and see what makes you light up. Keep trying different things.
Step 7 - find a group or a friend to talk things through with. Be still together, support each other and breathe.
Take your time and you will get to the place you want to be.