Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

Like Comment

In couples work, a dynamic that often arises is disagreement. By the time a couple come to counselling, these differences of opinion can often have become entrenched, and have a solidity to them that is causing pain and unhappiness. Each partner sees things in a different way. If you reflect on it, that is actually a given. We each have our own five senses, our own history and experiences, our own beliefs, values, priorities and hopes. How could we not see things through our own, specific lense on the world? We are after all unique.  The problem comes when we insist the other sees things our way too. In the current world of my truth or fake news, it is easy to slip into believing there is only one real truth, one version of events. Oftentimes, you may be right in your perspective. It makes sense to you. But before imposing it on someone else, pause to consider what other versions of events may be possible? How might a by-standard perceive things? What is true for the other people who were involved?  Sometimes it may be more graceful to make space for two truths, to agree to disagree, or even to let it pass. Happiness does not lie in winning the argument, it lies in connecting meaningfully with the person you were previously arguing with.

Go to the profile of Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Hi. I'm Fe, and I'm here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I believe every client is unique, I work with you to help you explore, discover and grow in whatever ways are right for you. I work with a wide range of clients, both long and short term. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to UK clients online and in Durham in North-East England. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists online and in person. Following a career in Organisation Development I became a therapist because it's my heart work. Before having my family and starting my private practice I worked in the NHS and mental health charities.

No comments yet.